I just need to rant

Yeah, you should have known it would come soon. Why? Because Heather likes to rant, and I haven't posted anything in almost a week.

Before I say anything I would like to say that I love my friends! Know that, because I am sure you are going to question it after this rant.

So here has what's been bugging me lately.

I am stuck at home just about every weekend. Here lately I have been going out here and there and I have a blast! I love hanging out with friends. I love acting stupid. I love being around people that understand me.

What I don't love is having to ask people to hang out! It has been a while since I had a friend call or text me and say "hey, wanna hang out?" My best friend will ask me to come over to her house, but she has kids...so I guess that is a good excuse. When she is going to go out though she will ask if I want to go. But really that is it.

Most of my other friends will wait for me to call or text them. And then I usually get shot down becuase they already have plans. Just once I want to be bored out of my mind and a friend say "Hey, lets go out!"

I wonder if maybe because I don't drink they don't think I will be any fun? But listen up people! I am awesome and wild! I don't need alcohol to dance on tables or to get out on the dance floor. I won't leave you because I spotted some hot guy that I want to chat up. I won't see other friends and ditch you for them, I may ask them to join us but I will never leave a friend behind.

And best of all, I won't get drunk and forget the awesome time we had the night before. And if I go somewhere with you, you better believe I will be leaving with you.

So I really don't get why my friends don't come to me more often to hang out. I am free most weekends. I even post on facebook all the time if I have plans or not. And then I see all my friends hanging out together having a good time, all while I am sitting at home.

I sometimes wish I lived closer to my friends that I only get to talk to online or on the phone. I bet they would want to hang out every weekend and do stupid stuff that doesn't cost a dime and is just straight up clean fun. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe it's because I still have fun like a little kid. I like to dance in random spots, laugh at silly things, and act like I am a teenager. Is that why my friends don't want to hang out with me? Because I act so much like a kid?

Much Love
Heather

Romeo and Juliet

I know how the story goes. I know that Romeo and Juliet do something terribly stupid and kill themselves because they can't be together. A tragic love story that just makes me angry really. 

Today I wondered though, did they find each other in heaven. Or are they forced to yearn for the one they love for all of eternity. Lovers torn apart for all of eternity. What it boils down to is I have always been told that people who commit suicide go straight to hell. So, since Romeo and Juliet both killed themselves they went to hell right? I think that idea is more tragic than the secret romance they shared in their lives.

On a serious note though, I want to express my opinion on suicide. Again I say, go watch the movie "What Dreams May Come." I don't know why but that movie makes more sense to me than anything I have ever read, heard, or seen. 

As I stated, I was raised being told that people who commit suicide go straight to hell. Now, in "What Dreams May Come" the mother kills herself and becomes a lost soul in hell. Each person has their own kind of hell, just like they all have their own kind of heaven. I actually find this more acceptable than the idea that people just burn in hell for their sins. 

What I wonder about most though are the young kids that commit suicide. By young I am including teenagers in this...and I totally just made myself feel old calling teenagers kids! There are so many teen suicides now days! As the suicide statistics go up the ages seem to go down too! These poor kids are being beaten by parents and other kids, both physically and mentally. Life gets so bad for them that all they can think is how bad they want out. Saddly, for some, they think that the only way out is through suicide. 

It breaks my heart! I want to reach out to every child and teenager that thinks of killing themselves. I want to hug each one and tell them that they are loved! And this is coming from someone that doesn't really like touching people or telling someone I love them! I sit back and read the stories as they scroll across our screens. With each suicide and suicide attempt I feel like I lose another piece of my heart. 

Where are their parents and friends? Why are schools looking the other way as the "geek" gets pushed around? Why are parental guardians ignoring their childrens cries for help? And why are parents adding to the heart break a kid has to go through?

I just heard a story the other day about a 10 year old girl who got off the bus just so her mom could yell at her. She told the girl how big of a mistake she was and how she should have never been born. Why in the world would you tell such a precious child that? 

I think parents are forgetting what a blessing their children are. And I think with the loss of that comes a loss of human decency. Which is why more kids are being picked on now. Have you seen how bad the bullying has become in the schools? 

To any parent that may read this, pay attention to your kids, they are more than likely begging for your attention. To any lost teenagers that may be reading this, I don't know you, but I care. We have to start taking care of one another. We have to stop this horrible problem. We have to pay more attention and we have to listen for the cries for help. 

As for the kids, teenagers, and even adults that have committed suicide, I pray that there is some mercy in death for you. I know life can get hard and some people just can't deal because they don't know where to go to find the strength. For the kids, teenagers, and adults that have attempted or even thought about it, find help before you do something that can not be undone. 

Life is to precious to give away.


Much Love,
Heather