There are secret doors in every world and each person has their own door. It's easy to find the first time, because you are not looking for it or even know it exist. Any time you find it after that is just pure luck! I found mine years ago. That is how I got here in this world. My world that I came from (not Pluto) was much cleaner than this one and the people (if you can call them that) were much nicer.
I haven't been able to find that door since I walked through. I desperately want to go back to the first world I came to. Of course, I would miss all my friends and family of this world, most of them anyways. But I miss the friends and family of the other world too (all of them.) Sadly I am stuck here...or at least thought I was.
Today, I heard a knocking with no door in sight! I looked all around me and tried to see the shimmer of the hidden door. I caught a glimpse of it and it went away, but I still heard the knocking. I am sure that someone on the other side has seen my door and is looking for me. I just can't get to the door. I heard the knocking while I was at work. It stopped only a few minutes after it started. On my drive home I heard it again. Then once more when I got home.
I was starting to think that I was hearing things until I sat down at my desk to type this. I looked at the wall and there sat a giant spider. Yeah, the size of my hand! It was watching me. I didn't think anything of it (other than "OMG KILL IT!"), but then I noticed the light blue shape on its back. It is shaped like a keyhole. A keyhole that my old key would fit! Finally I have found my door!
Saddly, I have lost the key. I am always losing keys. I always told myself I would hold on to that key for dear life. I even put it on a chain and wore it around my neck. I don't remember taking it off...or losing it. Actually I can't recall when it disappeared. I just know that right now, I do not have it. So my giant spider lock is going to disappear. I really hope no one was looking for me. I hope they are all okay. And I wish there was a way to pick a spider lock, but if you go near those things with anything but the key it's made for, you will lose a finger...or two.
I guess I was meant to stay in this world.
Much Love
Heather
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
What I have Learned from Being Single
I always complain about being single. Yeah, I know, I'm such a complainer. You know, sitting by watching my friends fall in love, get married and have kids it just sucks sometimes. I made myself really think about it though and I have decided, all my years of singleness have actually been a good thing. I have done a lot that I could have never done if I was tied down with a boyfriend.
The most important thing is I found myself. I figured out who I was and what I wanted in life without the interruption of some part-time relationship. I didn't figure out who I was with someone and then my world come crashing down when I was dumped. I didn't have to decide if I liked something because of the guy I was with or if I really did like it. It was all me. Yeah, I had moments where I liked things to impress a guy but I soon smacked myself back to reality.
Another thing, I didn't have my heart broken into a million pieces. Okay, so when I was turned down by yet another crush I was a little hurt. I was crushed...which is why they call them crushes! I bounced back though. I would find a new guy to crush on and day dream about.
I was never pressured into sex because some guy told me that he would dump me if I didn't sleep with him. I don't know what I would have done when I was younger. I can't say that I would have been level headed and stopped before things went to far. The thing is, someone in a higher place was looking out for me and didn't put me in the situation to worry about it. I had other things to worry about.
At last, I was always free to hang out with my friends and do things with my family. Now, I am a strong individual who knows what I want. I know what I want in a relationship as well as how that fits into my life plans. The best part is, I didn't have to go through dramatic break ups and abusive boyfriends to figure it out.
I would have to say I am grateful for my many years of the single life. Now, I just have to find a guy that is as well situated in his life, because that's the only way to go.
Much Love,
Heather
The most important thing is I found myself. I figured out who I was and what I wanted in life without the interruption of some part-time relationship. I didn't figure out who I was with someone and then my world come crashing down when I was dumped. I didn't have to decide if I liked something because of the guy I was with or if I really did like it. It was all me. Yeah, I had moments where I liked things to impress a guy but I soon smacked myself back to reality.
Another thing, I didn't have my heart broken into a million pieces. Okay, so when I was turned down by yet another crush I was a little hurt. I was crushed...which is why they call them crushes! I bounced back though. I would find a new guy to crush on and day dream about.
I was never pressured into sex because some guy told me that he would dump me if I didn't sleep with him. I don't know what I would have done when I was younger. I can't say that I would have been level headed and stopped before things went to far. The thing is, someone in a higher place was looking out for me and didn't put me in the situation to worry about it. I had other things to worry about.
At last, I was always free to hang out with my friends and do things with my family. Now, I am a strong individual who knows what I want. I know what I want in a relationship as well as how that fits into my life plans. The best part is, I didn't have to go through dramatic break ups and abusive boyfriends to figure it out.
I would have to say I am grateful for my many years of the single life. Now, I just have to find a guy that is as well situated in his life, because that's the only way to go.
Much Love,
Heather
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: The writing on the vent
I'm sitting here eating my macaroni (made by fairies of course) and thinking over the day. Of course I have come to wonder how these days come to me. And why on Wednesdays? Just tons of strange things happen and it all comes to me, on it's knees begging me to accept the weirdness. I can never say no to those big kitten eyes that come with the ugly pale face of random and unbelievable happenings.
Today, like every other day, started off normal. I threw myself out of bed (because hitting the floor face first is the only thing that wakes me up.) Then I rushed to the bathroom, turned on the shower and stared at the shower curtain for at least ten minutes while I agonize over how badly I want to go back to bed. Finally I pulled back the curtains and jump in to quickly adjust the temperature because the chances are the water is boiling hot. Then I stood under the water for fifteen minutes wishing I could go back to sleep. Did I mention that I hate mornings?
After the shower I rush around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off. I spend so much time wishing I could go back to sleep and groaning about lack of sleep that I have hardly any time left to get ready. Of course the demon that lives in my house wants some of my tuna that I am preparing for lunch and then I have to push him out the door so he doesn't wake the whole house up with his whining.
My macaroni and cheese is super delicious!
I finally get my stuff together, hair dried, teeth brushed and vitamins taken. I locate my socks, shoes, sweater and keys and rush out the door. This is all normal, everyday life.
Then things start getting weird. I start making the cars in front of me disappear and reappear. I don't know how I did it. I'm thinking my family may have some unknown power that I will one day, soon, discover. So the whole drive to work I played with the cars, I hope I didn't scare the drivers too bad. Then I got bored and super tired and almost fell asleep driving. Not good! But I wasn't far from work.
I get to my desk ten minutes late (normal) and do all my fancy computer reports. I post on facebook, text a friend and sit back and prepare to twiddle my thumbs the rest of the day. Except...I have to make it look like I am doing more than twiddling my thumbs. Grr! I throw my head back in frustration and to keep myself awake because I am nodding off. That is when I finally see it. The writing on the vent.
At first it just looked like scratches but the longer I looked at it the more it looked like writing. Then, the scratches started moving and forming words! It read "We cam back for you." HA! Now tell me I am not from a different planet. I waited for my co-worker to leave the office so that I could talk to what ever was in the vent. When I started talking the words disappeared and out crawled some slimy...something. It was like a blob but quickly took shape on my desk in the form of a small person.
I asked it who it was and what it wanted. Again I remind you that I told you I was from a different planet! This little guy tells me that he is my brother from Pluto and that it is almost time for me to go back home because my mother is sick and I am the one who must take the throne.
TOLD YOU I WAS A PLUTONIAN PRINCESS!
My co-worker snuck back into the office and scare the crap out of me. He asked me why I was talking to a plastic doll. I only laughed, how was I supposed to answer that??
Then little alien brother disappeared and I haven't seen him since. Just my luck. I finally find out that I am really what I have told everyone I was and I still have no answers. I have tons of questions. Like, why was I put on earth and when is Pluto going to blow up earth for calling it a rock?!
That has been my day folks. Just like every other Wednesday...wacky. You just can't make up this kind of stuff.
Much Love
Heather
p.s. This macaroni and cheese is so good!
Today, like every other day, started off normal. I threw myself out of bed (because hitting the floor face first is the only thing that wakes me up.) Then I rushed to the bathroom, turned on the shower and stared at the shower curtain for at least ten minutes while I agonize over how badly I want to go back to bed. Finally I pulled back the curtains and jump in to quickly adjust the temperature because the chances are the water is boiling hot. Then I stood under the water for fifteen minutes wishing I could go back to sleep. Did I mention that I hate mornings?
After the shower I rush around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off. I spend so much time wishing I could go back to sleep and groaning about lack of sleep that I have hardly any time left to get ready. Of course the demon that lives in my house wants some of my tuna that I am preparing for lunch and then I have to push him out the door so he doesn't wake the whole house up with his whining.
My macaroni and cheese is super delicious!
I finally get my stuff together, hair dried, teeth brushed and vitamins taken. I locate my socks, shoes, sweater and keys and rush out the door. This is all normal, everyday life.
Then things start getting weird. I start making the cars in front of me disappear and reappear. I don't know how I did it. I'm thinking my family may have some unknown power that I will one day, soon, discover. So the whole drive to work I played with the cars, I hope I didn't scare the drivers too bad. Then I got bored and super tired and almost fell asleep driving. Not good! But I wasn't far from work.
I get to my desk ten minutes late (normal) and do all my fancy computer reports. I post on facebook, text a friend and sit back and prepare to twiddle my thumbs the rest of the day. Except...I have to make it look like I am doing more than twiddling my thumbs. Grr! I throw my head back in frustration and to keep myself awake because I am nodding off. That is when I finally see it. The writing on the vent.
At first it just looked like scratches but the longer I looked at it the more it looked like writing. Then, the scratches started moving and forming words! It read "We cam back for you." HA! Now tell me I am not from a different planet. I waited for my co-worker to leave the office so that I could talk to what ever was in the vent. When I started talking the words disappeared and out crawled some slimy...something. It was like a blob but quickly took shape on my desk in the form of a small person.
I asked it who it was and what it wanted. Again I remind you that I told you I was from a different planet! This little guy tells me that he is my brother from Pluto and that it is almost time for me to go back home because my mother is sick and I am the one who must take the throne.
TOLD YOU I WAS A PLUTONIAN PRINCESS!
My co-worker snuck back into the office and scare the crap out of me. He asked me why I was talking to a plastic doll. I only laughed, how was I supposed to answer that??
Then little alien brother disappeared and I haven't seen him since. Just my luck. I finally find out that I am really what I have told everyone I was and I still have no answers. I have tons of questions. Like, why was I put on earth and when is Pluto going to blow up earth for calling it a rock?!
That has been my day folks. Just like every other Wednesday...wacky. You just can't make up this kind of stuff.
Much Love
Heather
p.s. This macaroni and cheese is so good!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Bible Study
So I decided to put my blog to good use for the new things going on in my life. There will be a Wacky Wednesday (sorry for not keeping up with that) and a day for what I have learned that week from my readings of the bible. I am also thinking about doing a Mindful Monday where I learn something new and share it with people but...that is a project in the making.
This week I have read the first book in the bible, Genesis. This is because I have decided that I want to become a youth minister/pastor or whatever gets me to working with teenagers. I feel like I have been through a lot in my life and I know that I can help teens get through those awkward years on top. I want to share with them how I made it through things, how I lost my faith but found it again. I want teens of today to know that there is someone that knows what they are going through. There is someone that knows the pains and the doubt and frustration that comes with being a teen. They need to know that someone understands how big of a transition life becomes once you become a teenager.
My first step to accomplishing this goal is to read and understand the bible. I would like to think that so far I am doing pretty good. I don't know how this will actually work out but my plan is to review a book of the bible each week. The bible has 66 books with in it. And a ton of chapters within those books. I am reading them in the order that they come in the bible because that is how I read best. I actually understand things better since reading Genesis. It works for me.
My goal is to read a book a week and review it. I want to outline what I read, the things that I think are the key parts of the book. My hopes is that I will help others understand the bible as I learn and understand it. Then I would like a second part of my blog to give my own thoughts and questions about it. I understand that this may make some blogs super long! In which case I may break it down into two blogs posted on the same day. One for the review and one for my own thoughts, opinions and questions.
Also, I know that some books are super short, when I come across those I may go ahead and blog about more than one book. Though, still separate them into different post, just all in the same day. I want to keep it all on one day so that everyone knows what to expect on that day.
To those of you who do not read the bible and have no interest in it, do not fret. It will only be one day a week and the blogs will be labeled "Bible Study" Feel free to skip that blog, but I do hope that my religious (I hate that word to be honest) beliefs do not scare you away from all the other awesome things I have hidden within this blog.
I hope that I have a few followers and can build an online bible study so that we can all help each other. I have opened the door for a journey and I intend to follow it through. Feel free to join and/or follow me. We can learn this together.
Much Love
Heather
This week I have read the first book in the bible, Genesis. This is because I have decided that I want to become a youth minister/pastor or whatever gets me to working with teenagers. I feel like I have been through a lot in my life and I know that I can help teens get through those awkward years on top. I want to share with them how I made it through things, how I lost my faith but found it again. I want teens of today to know that there is someone that knows what they are going through. There is someone that knows the pains and the doubt and frustration that comes with being a teen. They need to know that someone understands how big of a transition life becomes once you become a teenager.
My first step to accomplishing this goal is to read and understand the bible. I would like to think that so far I am doing pretty good. I don't know how this will actually work out but my plan is to review a book of the bible each week. The bible has 66 books with in it. And a ton of chapters within those books. I am reading them in the order that they come in the bible because that is how I read best. I actually understand things better since reading Genesis. It works for me.
My goal is to read a book a week and review it. I want to outline what I read, the things that I think are the key parts of the book. My hopes is that I will help others understand the bible as I learn and understand it. Then I would like a second part of my blog to give my own thoughts and questions about it. I understand that this may make some blogs super long! In which case I may break it down into two blogs posted on the same day. One for the review and one for my own thoughts, opinions and questions.
Also, I know that some books are super short, when I come across those I may go ahead and blog about more than one book. Though, still separate them into different post, just all in the same day. I want to keep it all on one day so that everyone knows what to expect on that day.
To those of you who do not read the bible and have no interest in it, do not fret. It will only be one day a week and the blogs will be labeled "Bible Study" Feel free to skip that blog, but I do hope that my religious (I hate that word to be honest) beliefs do not scare you away from all the other awesome things I have hidden within this blog.
I hope that I have a few followers and can build an online bible study so that we can all help each other. I have opened the door for a journey and I intend to follow it through. Feel free to join and/or follow me. We can learn this together.
Much Love
Heather
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: The Dragon
So, I'm sitting at work trying to stay awake and suddenly these two guys pass by and I hear something about a dragon. I look straight at them with shock all over my face and they know I heard. They shut up and quickly walk away.
Later two more guys walk by and say something about how they finally caught a dragon. I'm like...what? I turn to look at them through the window of my fishbowl and they do like the first two guys. They shut up and quickly walk away.
Now I am curious so every person that walks by I listen really closely to see what else I can figure out. But I get nothing. As soon as the people start walking by my fishbowl they shut up and quicken their pace.
FRUSTRATION!
Someone who didn't know I was listening actually stopped in front of my cubicle while talking on the phone. They say something about having the dragon in the cage. Now you know it's getting serious when they have caught a dragon. Have you ever tried to catch a dragon? It's near impossible! It takes a lot of knowledge and skill, both of which I have plenty of. I am just awesome. I could catch a dragon in my sleep....seriously.
Now that they have a dragon things are going to get worse for all the other creatures trapped in the plant. It just isn't fair and I have to find someway to set them free. Do you know how hard it is when the very balance of the world comes down to me??
The other day I noticed their was a bird in the plant. It was sitting up by one of the high windows. It was just sitting there, watching people go by...until it noticed me. I think I may have been found out. If I hadn't been found out when the bird spotted me I am for sure found out now. It's obvious when everyone stops talking around you. And now that I think about all the conversations I have heard...it seems everyone is in on the secret.
All those years of being paranoid and I miss this one time when the whole plant knows who I am. It doesn't matter. As long as they keep me around for a few more months I will have those creatures free.
And I'm going to use the dragon to do it.
Much Love
Heather
Later two more guys walk by and say something about how they finally caught a dragon. I'm like...what? I turn to look at them through the window of my fishbowl and they do like the first two guys. They shut up and quickly walk away.
FRUSTRATION!
Someone who didn't know I was listening actually stopped in front of my cubicle while talking on the phone. They say something about having the dragon in the cage. Now you know it's getting serious when they have caught a dragon. Have you ever tried to catch a dragon? It's near impossible! It takes a lot of knowledge and skill, both of which I have plenty of. I am just awesome. I could catch a dragon in my sleep....seriously.
Now that they have a dragon things are going to get worse for all the other creatures trapped in the plant. It just isn't fair and I have to find someway to set them free. Do you know how hard it is when the very balance of the world comes down to me??
The other day I noticed their was a bird in the plant. It was sitting up by one of the high windows. It was just sitting there, watching people go by...until it noticed me. I think I may have been found out. If I hadn't been found out when the bird spotted me I am for sure found out now. It's obvious when everyone stops talking around you. And now that I think about all the conversations I have heard...it seems everyone is in on the secret.
All those years of being paranoid and I miss this one time when the whole plant knows who I am. It doesn't matter. As long as they keep me around for a few more months I will have those creatures free.
And I'm going to use the dragon to do it.
Much Love
Heather
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Not Gonna Give Up!
I have been on a pretty steady schedule with working out for the past three weeks. Yeah, it's not a long time but seriously it is probably the longest I have ever kept to working out. Well, on a regular basis.
I usually work out a few days a week, stop for a few weeks, work out for a whole week, take a month break...you follow?
But this time I have worked out 4-5 times a week. This will be the third week and you know what I have noticed?
Nothing....
My clothes are not fitting better and the scale says I am stuck at the same weight. I drink more water, I think I have a healthier diet and up until this week I have had a pretty active schedule with no naps.
This week has been a different story with the whole nap thing. I am super tired!! I don't know why. I even went to sleep earlier last night and was even worse today than I was yesterday. I could hardly keep my eyes open at work and when I came home I completely crashed. I did get up for dinner and to work out so...*pat myself on the back.*
I have noticed the muscles in my legs are getting...bigger. I have got some massive muscles in my legs! I have always had major calf muscles, which is why I can't wear cute boots that come up to my knees unless I want to pay a fortune and get them special made. My thighs have just been...fat. Now they are major muscles too! My mom always told me I was strong as an ox when I was younger. My legs have always been really strong and can take a lot of weight. Which is why I am pretty sure that if I was ever attacked, the attackers first mistake would be throwing me to the ground. You can't overpower my kick! But, please God, let's not test my theory.
I feel like my arms are a little less flabby. Which is one of the things I hate the most! My arms. Ugh! I feel like the old teacher that almost knocks herself out with her bat wings. Though, my arms are not that bad and they seem to be getting better. I even have some muscle tone in my biceps. Which all this is good and seriously the only thing keeping me on this venture to exercise.
I just want my clothes to start fitting better, the scale to say I have lost a few pounds and for the stomach fat to start disappearing. Is that so much to ask for?
I keep wondering if maybe my diet really is not that great. Maybe I really should start cutting down on calories. But, do you ever worry that once you start doing that you will get obsessed and the whole weight loss thing takes over your life? I don't think it has taken over my life yet. I don't want it too.
I don't want my happiness to revolve on a few pounds lost here and there. I just want to be healthy and have fun. But it is kind of bumming me out that I am working so hard and seeing no results. The only thing that I get for my hard work is sore muscles...which I actually enjoy, but I would so love to see some weight coming off.
*Sigh*
Anyone else having trouble losing weight?
Much Love
Heather
I usually work out a few days a week, stop for a few weeks, work out for a whole week, take a month break...you follow?
But this time I have worked out 4-5 times a week. This will be the third week and you know what I have noticed? Nothing....
My clothes are not fitting better and the scale says I am stuck at the same weight. I drink more water, I think I have a healthier diet and up until this week I have had a pretty active schedule with no naps.
This week has been a different story with the whole nap thing. I am super tired!! I don't know why. I even went to sleep earlier last night and was even worse today than I was yesterday. I could hardly keep my eyes open at work and when I came home I completely crashed. I did get up for dinner and to work out so...*pat myself on the back.*
I have noticed the muscles in my legs are getting...bigger. I have got some massive muscles in my legs! I have always had major calf muscles, which is why I can't wear cute boots that come up to my knees unless I want to pay a fortune and get them special made. My thighs have just been...fat. Now they are major muscles too! My mom always told me I was strong as an ox when I was younger. My legs have always been really strong and can take a lot of weight. Which is why I am pretty sure that if I was ever attacked, the attackers first mistake would be throwing me to the ground. You can't overpower my kick! But, please God, let's not test my theory.
I feel like my arms are a little less flabby. Which is one of the things I hate the most! My arms. Ugh! I feel like the old teacher that almost knocks herself out with her bat wings. Though, my arms are not that bad and they seem to be getting better. I even have some muscle tone in my biceps. Which all this is good and seriously the only thing keeping me on this venture to exercise.
I just want my clothes to start fitting better, the scale to say I have lost a few pounds and for the stomach fat to start disappearing. Is that so much to ask for?
I keep wondering if maybe my diet really is not that great. Maybe I really should start cutting down on calories. But, do you ever worry that once you start doing that you will get obsessed and the whole weight loss thing takes over your life? I don't think it has taken over my life yet. I don't want it too.
I don't want my happiness to revolve on a few pounds lost here and there. I just want to be healthy and have fun. But it is kind of bumming me out that I am working so hard and seeing no results. The only thing that I get for my hard work is sore muscles...which I actually enjoy, but I would so love to see some weight coming off.
*Sigh*
Anyone else having trouble losing weight?
Much Love
Heather
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Do you Believe?
There is a youtube channel that I absolutely adore. It is BlackBoxTV. They make awesome videos thanks to the awesome director Tony. I totally wish I could meet him and go on one of his adventures with him. Of course, BlackBoxTV does, I guess you could say it's horror suspense. Some videos will make you jump while others make you scratch you head and wonder where in the world this guys mind is. And I mean that as a compliment. He is a genius.
The latest video on BlackBoxTV is about a hunted hospital where Tony and his crew go in and check it out. They come across something that they can't explain and honestly, just watching the video you could feel the presence of evil in the hospital. Not just evil though, pain and confusion as well. I don't know if I could ever walk into that hospital if someone paid me a million dollars to do so. I have added the video here so that you can watch it. I warn you though, if you are easily frightened, don't watch it. If you are sensitive to the paranormal world, don't watch it. Or do, it's up to you.
My question to you: Do you believe in ghost?
I do. I always have. I don't feel them around as much anymore. I think it is mainly because I don't want to see them anymore. It's sad really. Ghost or spirits are souls that have been trapped on earth for some reason or another. I think they are looking for someone to save them, to help them go beyond this world to where ever they are meant to be. Not all are kind. I don't think spirits can harm you, they can only scare you.
Though, I also believe in things beyond spirits. I believe that the Linda Vista hospital does not just house spirits. Yes, there are some angry spirits in that building and lost spirits. There is also something far worse living there. Demons. Poltergeist. Things that can harm you. Maybe if we were to leave haunted things alone these things would lose their power and their presence in the world would fade out. But, I believe that might just be a fluffy dream.
Fear and anger draw in stronger things. And when I spirit is lost and confused and full of anger and fear, it draws much stronger beings. That is why haunted places can only get worse over time. It is the non-believers that let it get so far out of control.
Linda Vista, the hospital that you see in the video has new plans. It is going to be turned into an old folks home. Crazy and stupid. Because non-believers are out for more money. The poor old people that are going to placed in that home are going to have a hard time. They are going to draw more unwanted guest. They are going to make the ones that are already there, stronger.
I strongly believe in supernatural and paranormal stuff. I believe that ignoring them could be a bad idea when it comes to places with strong forces already taking over. I also thing that it is stupid for investigators to go in looking for this stuff. Though, if given the chance I would totally join a team and go looking into these places. Maybe just to confirm my own beliefs. Maybe because deep down I think I could help them. Either way, if I had people going in with me, I would go in.
Honest thoughts and opinions are welcome. But don't dare tell me I am stupid for what I believe in, I don't have proof that I can show you. I know what I have seen and felt and it is not something you forget.
Much Love
Heather
The latest video on BlackBoxTV is about a hunted hospital where Tony and his crew go in and check it out. They come across something that they can't explain and honestly, just watching the video you could feel the presence of evil in the hospital. Not just evil though, pain and confusion as well. I don't know if I could ever walk into that hospital if someone paid me a million dollars to do so. I have added the video here so that you can watch it. I warn you though, if you are easily frightened, don't watch it. If you are sensitive to the paranormal world, don't watch it. Or do, it's up to you.
My question to you: Do you believe in ghost?
I do. I always have. I don't feel them around as much anymore. I think it is mainly because I don't want to see them anymore. It's sad really. Ghost or spirits are souls that have been trapped on earth for some reason or another. I think they are looking for someone to save them, to help them go beyond this world to where ever they are meant to be. Not all are kind. I don't think spirits can harm you, they can only scare you.
Though, I also believe in things beyond spirits. I believe that the Linda Vista hospital does not just house spirits. Yes, there are some angry spirits in that building and lost spirits. There is also something far worse living there. Demons. Poltergeist. Things that can harm you. Maybe if we were to leave haunted things alone these things would lose their power and their presence in the world would fade out. But, I believe that might just be a fluffy dream.
Fear and anger draw in stronger things. And when I spirit is lost and confused and full of anger and fear, it draws much stronger beings. That is why haunted places can only get worse over time. It is the non-believers that let it get so far out of control.
Linda Vista, the hospital that you see in the video has new plans. It is going to be turned into an old folks home. Crazy and stupid. Because non-believers are out for more money. The poor old people that are going to placed in that home are going to have a hard time. They are going to draw more unwanted guest. They are going to make the ones that are already there, stronger.
I strongly believe in supernatural and paranormal stuff. I believe that ignoring them could be a bad idea when it comes to places with strong forces already taking over. I also thing that it is stupid for investigators to go in looking for this stuff. Though, if given the chance I would totally join a team and go looking into these places. Maybe just to confirm my own beliefs. Maybe because deep down I think I could help them. Either way, if I had people going in with me, I would go in.
Honest thoughts and opinions are welcome. But don't dare tell me I am stupid for what I believe in, I don't have proof that I can show you. I know what I have seen and felt and it is not something you forget.
Much Love
Heather
Saturday, April 21, 2012
It is What You Want it to Be
I try not to let things annoy me...as of recently. But there are still a few things that slip through my radar. One just so happens to be people complaining about facebook, twitter, tumblr and what ever other social site there is now.
I know you have all heard the complaints about facebook changing to the timeline thing. That's not what this is about. People complain about how they don't know how to use twitter, still not the topic. And tons of people complain about all the sharing going on in tumblr...that is where this topic sits.
To me, facebook, twitter and tumblr are places to express yourself freely. They are places to share your deepest thoughts (that you dare to share with the world). If you happen to have a deep thought every ten minutes then who is stopping you from updating your status or creating a new tweet. (To be honest I don't use tumblr much.)
Personally, I update my facebook status a million times a day. I am not the kind of person that updates with "I'm eating a sandwich." That is what twitter is for (in my opinion anyways.) I like to update with insightful things. I like to update when I have a headache. I like to update with what I am doing at the moment. It is an endless stream of thoughts straight from Heather's brain!
People complain. I was recently unfriended by a cousin because she was upset that I updated my status so much. I can't help it! I love to live out loud (to a point). I like to tell people what is on my mind. Why? I honestly don't know. I wish more people would say what is on their mind. Though, that usually results in a lot of complaints. But that is okay! Because facebook is your own personal space (myspace anyone?) and you have the right to freedom of speech. If you want to tell people how bad the bathroom smelled when you got done...do it! (I say that might be a bit to much information but if that is what you want, share it.)
These social websites were created to stay connected with people. Humans have become super busy. We have shows to watch, tons of work to do, exercise to avoid and homework to procrastinate. We don't have time to go to a friends house and see what's up. Some people have friends that live out of state and no one has time for phone calls anymore. (Hopefully you have caught the sarcastic tone of this paragraph...) The point is, facebook and twitter, these are the places that I speak to everyone like I would if they were standing right in front of me.
If you don't like how often I update my status, hide my updates or unfriend me. Don't complain in a status update that I know is directed towards me. People need to learn to tell things to peoples face instead of making some random comment that isn't exactly directed to one person but is...did you get that?
I say, feel free to post what ever you want on facebook and twitter. Post as often as you want! But if you complain about someone, at least have the decency to talk to that person instead of putting it in such a round-about way. And really, there is no reason to complain about how often someone post on facebook and twitter because that is what it is there for.
If you think other wise, feel free to share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear it.
Much Love
Heather
I know you have all heard the complaints about facebook changing to the timeline thing. That's not what this is about. People complain about how they don't know how to use twitter, still not the topic. And tons of people complain about all the sharing going on in tumblr...that is where this topic sits.
To me, facebook, twitter and tumblr are places to express yourself freely. They are places to share your deepest thoughts (that you dare to share with the world). If you happen to have a deep thought every ten minutes then who is stopping you from updating your status or creating a new tweet. (To be honest I don't use tumblr much.)
Personally, I update my facebook status a million times a day. I am not the kind of person that updates with "I'm eating a sandwich." That is what twitter is for (in my opinion anyways.) I like to update with insightful things. I like to update when I have a headache. I like to update with what I am doing at the moment. It is an endless stream of thoughts straight from Heather's brain!
People complain. I was recently unfriended by a cousin because she was upset that I updated my status so much. I can't help it! I love to live out loud (to a point). I like to tell people what is on my mind. Why? I honestly don't know. I wish more people would say what is on their mind. Though, that usually results in a lot of complaints. But that is okay! Because facebook is your own personal space (myspace anyone?) and you have the right to freedom of speech. If you want to tell people how bad the bathroom smelled when you got done...do it! (I say that might be a bit to much information but if that is what you want, share it.)
These social websites were created to stay connected with people. Humans have become super busy. We have shows to watch, tons of work to do, exercise to avoid and homework to procrastinate. We don't have time to go to a friends house and see what's up. Some people have friends that live out of state and no one has time for phone calls anymore. (Hopefully you have caught the sarcastic tone of this paragraph...) The point is, facebook and twitter, these are the places that I speak to everyone like I would if they were standing right in front of me.
If you don't like how often I update my status, hide my updates or unfriend me. Don't complain in a status update that I know is directed towards me. People need to learn to tell things to peoples face instead of making some random comment that isn't exactly directed to one person but is...did you get that?
I say, feel free to post what ever you want on facebook and twitter. Post as often as you want! But if you complain about someone, at least have the decency to talk to that person instead of putting it in such a round-about way. And really, there is no reason to complain about how often someone post on facebook and twitter because that is what it is there for.
If you think other wise, feel free to share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear it.
Much Love
Heather
Friday, April 20, 2012
Letting Go of Everything
This post has been a long time coming. I only realized the need to do it a few weeks ago though. It took that long to really process everything. I think it was this past Wednesday that I put the final pieces together. Now, I have an idea of what I have been holding on to that has kept me back.
What has it kept me back from? Being happy. Being confident. Being me in every possible way and letting people see me for who I really am. No more gimmicks to get lame attention. No more covering myself up because I am afraid of what others will think. It's time to hang out my laundry and let the wind take it away.
First things first. I have had family members for years that have never made me feel welcome. I know that things are said about me behind my back. I know that they don't like me as much as they like others. They have made me feel like an outcast, like I have done something to them and I am a horrible person. Growing up, it just hurt. I wanted that close relationship with my grandparents and I wanted my best friends to be my cousins. But things didn't happen that way. So, I felt worthless in their eyes. Then, once I got past the pain of it I became angry. I didn't hate them, but I hated how they treated me. No matter what kind of anger or hate you have within you, it's not good. It only hurts you more.
Second, grades third through seventh were hard on me. In third grade I started a new school. The kids at this new school were not very friendly to new kids. Most of them had grown up together and didn't want someone new coming into their circle. Few people did get through the circle, me, I wasn't fit (in their eyes) to break through. I was picked on. They made fun of my clothes, my weight, my glasses, my family. They gave me evil looks when I had done nothing wrong. I was a nice kid, really I was. I was usually really good at making new friends. But they were not having it. I made a few friends, we were all outcast together. It wasn't until I moved away that I realized that I only had one true friend in that school and she moved back to Colorado. My other "friends" talked about me behind my back, told me lies, and pretty much hated me. Still not sure why.
After leaving that school my confidence was crushed. Not only had the school kids crushed me but family members were helping too. I became depressed and found the darker things in life much more enjoyable. I dreamed about death. I remember thinking of ways to end it all. I didn't want to deal with the pain that I was going through anymore. I even remember crying to God some nights for him to let me come home. I didn't want to be in this world anymore and I couldn't just kill myself. So I prayed for God to kill me.
How crazy is that? Though, that isn't even the craziest. The craziest part of it all, I didn't actually believe in God half the time. I only believed in Him when it was convenient for me. I only believed in Him when I thought he would step in and help me. He was trying to help me the whole time, I just didn't see it.
Happy ending though! I got better. In high school I made amazing friends that I still talk to today. I was still depressed after high school but I slowly worked my way out of it. Though, the past four months I have reached a new level of happiness that I never thought possible. And I think this is an important moment for me in my journey to becoming closer to God.
See, for years I have kept all this anger and hate towards all these people. I kept it in a jar on a shelf in my heart. I let it grip and squeeze my heart. I let it make me become a cruel person who didn't find much joy in anything. And while I have found happiness this jar still pulls me down sometimes.
But not anymore. Today I am letting it go. I am cracking this jar open and letting the moths of hatred and anger free. It is no longer going to drag me down and keep me from being what God planned for me to be.
Now, I know this is not going to be completely instant. I know that these things will try to crawl back into my heart and hide in a dark corner. But that is where prayer comes from. That is where my trust in God will carry me home.
Forgiveness.
That is where the true healing lies. I forgive my family for the hateful things they have said to me. I forgive them for making me feel like I have done something wrong. I forgive my old friends for only pretending to like me. I forgive all the kids that used to tease me.
I also thank them all for it. Because with out them I would not be as strong as I am today. I have fought many battles in my life and when I look back, I realize that even in my weakest moments I was still strong. When I thought about dying, I couldn't kill myself because I didn't really want to die. When I prayed to God to let me die and let me come home to heaven I would cry and ask Him to forgive me for asking for such selfish things. I never actually gave up because I have the soul of a fighter. And with out the hardship of what I have been through I wouldn't know how strong I am.
Thank you for helping me see my true potential. Thank you God for making me strong. I have forgiven. I have let it go. I will not forget though. Only because one day, I will share my hardships with other people so that they will know they are not the first and they are not alone and they can make it through too. A goal in my life now is to help people see how strong they are. I want them to see that what they think is a punishment from God is actually a blessing because He is showing you how strong you really are.
Remember the saying that everything happens for a reason. God doesn't just throw us into a storm and watch us suffer for the heck of it. He is the one that gives us the tools to make it out and there is always a lesson that will make us greater people.
Forgiveness.
That is where the true journey begins.
Much Love
Heather
What has it kept me back from? Being happy. Being confident. Being me in every possible way and letting people see me for who I really am. No more gimmicks to get lame attention. No more covering myself up because I am afraid of what others will think. It's time to hang out my laundry and let the wind take it away.
First things first. I have had family members for years that have never made me feel welcome. I know that things are said about me behind my back. I know that they don't like me as much as they like others. They have made me feel like an outcast, like I have done something to them and I am a horrible person. Growing up, it just hurt. I wanted that close relationship with my grandparents and I wanted my best friends to be my cousins. But things didn't happen that way. So, I felt worthless in their eyes. Then, once I got past the pain of it I became angry. I didn't hate them, but I hated how they treated me. No matter what kind of anger or hate you have within you, it's not good. It only hurts you more.
Second, grades third through seventh were hard on me. In third grade I started a new school. The kids at this new school were not very friendly to new kids. Most of them had grown up together and didn't want someone new coming into their circle. Few people did get through the circle, me, I wasn't fit (in their eyes) to break through. I was picked on. They made fun of my clothes, my weight, my glasses, my family. They gave me evil looks when I had done nothing wrong. I was a nice kid, really I was. I was usually really good at making new friends. But they were not having it. I made a few friends, we were all outcast together. It wasn't until I moved away that I realized that I only had one true friend in that school and she moved back to Colorado. My other "friends" talked about me behind my back, told me lies, and pretty much hated me. Still not sure why.
After leaving that school my confidence was crushed. Not only had the school kids crushed me but family members were helping too. I became depressed and found the darker things in life much more enjoyable. I dreamed about death. I remember thinking of ways to end it all. I didn't want to deal with the pain that I was going through anymore. I even remember crying to God some nights for him to let me come home. I didn't want to be in this world anymore and I couldn't just kill myself. So I prayed for God to kill me.
How crazy is that? Though, that isn't even the craziest. The craziest part of it all, I didn't actually believe in God half the time. I only believed in Him when it was convenient for me. I only believed in Him when I thought he would step in and help me. He was trying to help me the whole time, I just didn't see it.
Happy ending though! I got better. In high school I made amazing friends that I still talk to today. I was still depressed after high school but I slowly worked my way out of it. Though, the past four months I have reached a new level of happiness that I never thought possible. And I think this is an important moment for me in my journey to becoming closer to God.
See, for years I have kept all this anger and hate towards all these people. I kept it in a jar on a shelf in my heart. I let it grip and squeeze my heart. I let it make me become a cruel person who didn't find much joy in anything. And while I have found happiness this jar still pulls me down sometimes.
But not anymore. Today I am letting it go. I am cracking this jar open and letting the moths of hatred and anger free. It is no longer going to drag me down and keep me from being what God planned for me to be.
Now, I know this is not going to be completely instant. I know that these things will try to crawl back into my heart and hide in a dark corner. But that is where prayer comes from. That is where my trust in God will carry me home.
Forgiveness.
That is where the true healing lies. I forgive my family for the hateful things they have said to me. I forgive them for making me feel like I have done something wrong. I forgive my old friends for only pretending to like me. I forgive all the kids that used to tease me.
I also thank them all for it. Because with out them I would not be as strong as I am today. I have fought many battles in my life and when I look back, I realize that even in my weakest moments I was still strong. When I thought about dying, I couldn't kill myself because I didn't really want to die. When I prayed to God to let me die and let me come home to heaven I would cry and ask Him to forgive me for asking for such selfish things. I never actually gave up because I have the soul of a fighter. And with out the hardship of what I have been through I wouldn't know how strong I am.
Thank you for helping me see my true potential. Thank you God for making me strong. I have forgiven. I have let it go. I will not forget though. Only because one day, I will share my hardships with other people so that they will know they are not the first and they are not alone and they can make it through too. A goal in my life now is to help people see how strong they are. I want them to see that what they think is a punishment from God is actually a blessing because He is showing you how strong you really are.
Remember the saying that everything happens for a reason. God doesn't just throw us into a storm and watch us suffer for the heck of it. He is the one that gives us the tools to make it out and there is always a lesson that will make us greater people.
Forgiveness.
That is where the true journey begins.
Much Love
Heather
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Love the Good Dreams
As most of my friends know, I have been going to church for about five months now. I love it so much, it is what keeps me going through the week, knowing that it's almost a church day. I started off just going on Sundays. Then I started going on Wednesdays and if I can make things work I will be spending time with church peeps on Saturday too. They have an awesome program called Operation Go and I so badly want to get into it. But I have to pace myself. I am already signed up to be a greeter and to help with the children's ministry. I want to bury myself in the church because I love it so much.
Last night, service was no different than usual. The music got everyone pumped and we were ready to recieve the word. And as usual, I left with a lot on my mind, a lot of things that I need to change. But that is for tomorrow nights blog. Tonight I tell you about the awesome dream I had!
In my dream me and my mom were still in church. Everyone was still pumped and excited and filled to the brim with the holy spirit. My mom and I decided that we wanted to sit a little closer so we moved up, like two rows in front of the preacher. He saw us move and smiled, as if welcoming...like he was telling us that we had made the right choice. Then he passes around this oil. It wasn't normal oil though, but I'm not sure how to really explain it. We were instructed to pour some into our bibles at a certain scripture and then rub some into our hands. Then, I woke up.
Of course I lay in bed for a little bit trying to figure out what the dream meant. I couldn't figure it out. All I could decide at that moment was that God was telling me that I had found a home church. I kind of already knew that but it was nice to get a confirmation. My confirmation was the preacher in my dream smiling and welcoming us. So, I crawled out of bed with this dream fresh in my mind and got ready for work.
I have this awesome app on my phone that sends verses from the bible. I usually just wipe them away and don't read them. This morning I felt like I needed to read them. So I started reading all of them and came across the one that told me what my dream was about.
The verse was Psalm 45: 6-8 but it was the middle verse that got me.
Psalm 45:7
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions
I don't think I will ever forget this verse now. I feel as though God was telling me that he is pouring joy into my life. And I can feel it! I have been in such an amazing mood today and I can not stop thanking God for all the wonderful things he has brought into my life.
So that is my dream and my take on the dream. I feel restored, renewed, awakened, and ready to take on the world. I am trying to step over that line that keeps me back from putting my everything into God's hands. And tomorrow I will tell you about all the things I am letting go of to reach the next level in my faith.
Much Love
Heather
Last night, service was no different than usual. The music got everyone pumped and we were ready to recieve the word. And as usual, I left with a lot on my mind, a lot of things that I need to change. But that is for tomorrow nights blog. Tonight I tell you about the awesome dream I had!In my dream me and my mom were still in church. Everyone was still pumped and excited and filled to the brim with the holy spirit. My mom and I decided that we wanted to sit a little closer so we moved up, like two rows in front of the preacher. He saw us move and smiled, as if welcoming...like he was telling us that we had made the right choice. Then he passes around this oil. It wasn't normal oil though, but I'm not sure how to really explain it. We were instructed to pour some into our bibles at a certain scripture and then rub some into our hands. Then, I woke up.
Of course I lay in bed for a little bit trying to figure out what the dream meant. I couldn't figure it out. All I could decide at that moment was that God was telling me that I had found a home church. I kind of already knew that but it was nice to get a confirmation. My confirmation was the preacher in my dream smiling and welcoming us. So, I crawled out of bed with this dream fresh in my mind and got ready for work.
I have this awesome app on my phone that sends verses from the bible. I usually just wipe them away and don't read them. This morning I felt like I needed to read them. So I started reading all of them and came across the one that told me what my dream was about.
The verse was Psalm 45: 6-8 but it was the middle verse that got me.
Psalm 45:7
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions
I don't think I will ever forget this verse now. I feel as though God was telling me that he is pouring joy into my life. And I can feel it! I have been in such an amazing mood today and I can not stop thanking God for all the wonderful things he has brought into my life.
So that is my dream and my take on the dream. I feel restored, renewed, awakened, and ready to take on the world. I am trying to step over that line that keeps me back from putting my everything into God's hands. And tomorrow I will tell you about all the things I am letting go of to reach the next level in my faith.
Much Love
Heather
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: Sweet Tea
I have been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to figure out what to write. I am distraught because most of the time I already have Wacky Wednesday written before I even get to work. Here I am, almost bed time and I have nothing! So I sit here, eating my pumpkin seeds (my tongue is raw from all the salt) and drinking my sweet tea trying to figure out what wacky things have happened recently.
Nothing really comes to mind! Though, I did meet one of the werewolves that work at the plant. He gave himself away with his bushy face. He was not happy. Did you know that werewolves, when in their human form, have more hair on their face when they are mad? I know what you are thinking "Heather, what if he just hasn't shaved in a while?" I thought about that. I am not amateur to this world that most people refuse to accept. Shame on you for thinking I was. It was in the guys eyes. Now, I wouldn't have known if he hadn't looked at me. In his eyes you could see panic. Then fear... then I saw a glimpse of pain. He wants help getting away from the plant completely. Just like all the other weres that I hear howling through the day. The big boss man keeps trying to play it off as the machines needing oil or something. I know the truth.
I know I should find a way to help them out, but I can't seem to stay awake while at work. I am pretty sure there is a witch working there. She has cast a spell to make me super sleepy while I am there. I think they have caught on to what I am really doing there. Soon I will have to move on and find a new place to work. But I have to save all the creatures first. *sigh* But let's not focus on that right now.
I do have something odd that happened yesterday. I found this AWESOME AMAZING band called Steam Powered Giraffe. It's a band made of human robots!! They are amazing and the music is so old school/post apocalyptic. I only say that because I am pretty certain that the steampunk era that everyone is so obsessed with is actually our future, after the world ends, when ever that may be.
See the thing is, when the world ends, it won't really end! We are going to live in a new steampunk era. All the fun gadgets that are just props now will actually exist. We will ride steam powered trains again. Thing Wild Wild West with Will Smith. THAT is the future!
Back to Steam Powered Giraffe...Here watch it
How amazing are they?? So original. Listen to the song again. Listen to their other songs. Love them! You think they would help me free the creatures from the plant??
See, nothing weird. But the fairies are playing in my hair and the goblin that I ate...accidentlly, last night is trying to make is way out by cutting into my intestines. That means it's bed time.
Much Love
Heather
Nothing really comes to mind! Though, I did meet one of the werewolves that work at the plant. He gave himself away with his bushy face. He was not happy. Did you know that werewolves, when in their human form, have more hair on their face when they are mad? I know what you are thinking "Heather, what if he just hasn't shaved in a while?" I thought about that. I am not amateur to this world that most people refuse to accept. Shame on you for thinking I was. It was in the guys eyes. Now, I wouldn't have known if he hadn't looked at me. In his eyes you could see panic. Then fear... then I saw a glimpse of pain. He wants help getting away from the plant completely. Just like all the other weres that I hear howling through the day. The big boss man keeps trying to play it off as the machines needing oil or something. I know the truth.
I know I should find a way to help them out, but I can't seem to stay awake while at work. I am pretty sure there is a witch working there. She has cast a spell to make me super sleepy while I am there. I think they have caught on to what I am really doing there. Soon I will have to move on and find a new place to work. But I have to save all the creatures first. *sigh* But let's not focus on that right now.
I do have something odd that happened yesterday. I found this AWESOME AMAZING band called Steam Powered Giraffe. It's a band made of human robots!! They are amazing and the music is so old school/post apocalyptic. I only say that because I am pretty certain that the steampunk era that everyone is so obsessed with is actually our future, after the world ends, when ever that may be.
See the thing is, when the world ends, it won't really end! We are going to live in a new steampunk era. All the fun gadgets that are just props now will actually exist. We will ride steam powered trains again. Thing Wild Wild West with Will Smith. THAT is the future!
Back to Steam Powered Giraffe...Here watch it
See, nothing weird. But the fairies are playing in my hair and the goblin that I ate...accidentlly, last night is trying to make is way out by cutting into my intestines. That means it's bed time.
Much Love
Heather
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Me is all I can Be
The thought started Sunday. The preacher was talking about how we draw lines for ourselves. We compare ourselves to others and we strive for what someone else has. We always put a cap on where we want to go.
And it's so true. For so long I have looked at slim models and said "I want to look like that." Or even with my writing I always tell people how I want to be as famous as Stephen King! But after Sunday's service I have been thinking so much and reevaluating my goals in life.
I have decided that I don't want to be as famous as Stephen King, I want to be bigger! But I don't want to just be famous, I want to be an inspiration to anyone that wants to give up on their dreams. I want to go to high schools and speak to the teenagers and tell them how much they have to look forward too and how, no matter how small, an accomplishment should be celebrated. I think that my writing will get me to that point one day. I just want to inspire young people and even older people to fight for their dreams, cause that is what I am doing right now. I am fighting for what I want and what I believe I am best at.
I have also decided that I will stop looking at these models and comparing my body to theirs. For one...lets face it, I don't have the bone structure of a model. I will NEVER have the curves that a model has. Mine will be fuller and probably sexier. (Ego trip!) I have muscle that will probably never go away unless I get it removed, can they do that? I have been overweight most of my life but I have always had killer muscle (under the fat) and it's not going any where. My bones are what you would call Amazon. They are bigger than most females. I have broad shoulders and wide hips. That isn't going away because you kind of can't really change bone structure. Sad thing is, I didn't get the height that usually comes with the Amazon bone structure. Dangit! And let us not forget Photoshop. Half of the slim perfect bodies we see on t.v. and in magazines now days have been touched up. A tuck here, a nip there, add a glimmer there. It's all about the special effects and no longer about the natural beauty.
I am me. And that is all I can be. It is all God expects me to be. I have to shoot for my own goals, unique goals. I have to stop comparing myself to people that I may never be like, simply because it is not in the cards for me.
I just have to work at being the best me I can be. I give it my all, fight as hard as I can, and push through all the obstacles that stand in my way.
As of now, I have two goals. 1) get fit, healthy, active. 2) Keep moving forward on my writing.
I say, the world needs to stop comparing themselves to one another. That is only going to lead to us becoming discouraged, depressed, sad, angry and finally giving up on something we thought we really wanted. Let us strive to be the best us we can be. I do me and you do you. Who cares what the world is doing, focus on what you are doing.
You is all you can be.
Me is all I can be.
Oh, and we should be having fun, that is how you know you're doing it right. :)
Much Love
Heather
And it's so true. For so long I have looked at slim models and said "I want to look like that." Or even with my writing I always tell people how I want to be as famous as Stephen King! But after Sunday's service I have been thinking so much and reevaluating my goals in life.I have decided that I don't want to be as famous as Stephen King, I want to be bigger! But I don't want to just be famous, I want to be an inspiration to anyone that wants to give up on their dreams. I want to go to high schools and speak to the teenagers and tell them how much they have to look forward too and how, no matter how small, an accomplishment should be celebrated. I think that my writing will get me to that point one day. I just want to inspire young people and even older people to fight for their dreams, cause that is what I am doing right now. I am fighting for what I want and what I believe I am best at.
I have also decided that I will stop looking at these models and comparing my body to theirs. For one...lets face it, I don't have the bone structure of a model. I will NEVER have the curves that a model has. Mine will be fuller and probably sexier. (Ego trip!) I have muscle that will probably never go away unless I get it removed, can they do that? I have been overweight most of my life but I have always had killer muscle (under the fat) and it's not going any where. My bones are what you would call Amazon. They are bigger than most females. I have broad shoulders and wide hips. That isn't going away because you kind of can't really change bone structure. Sad thing is, I didn't get the height that usually comes with the Amazon bone structure. Dangit! And let us not forget Photoshop. Half of the slim perfect bodies we see on t.v. and in magazines now days have been touched up. A tuck here, a nip there, add a glimmer there. It's all about the special effects and no longer about the natural beauty.
I am me. And that is all I can be. It is all God expects me to be. I have to shoot for my own goals, unique goals. I have to stop comparing myself to people that I may never be like, simply because it is not in the cards for me.
I just have to work at being the best me I can be. I give it my all, fight as hard as I can, and push through all the obstacles that stand in my way.
As of now, I have two goals. 1) get fit, healthy, active. 2) Keep moving forward on my writing.
I say, the world needs to stop comparing themselves to one another. That is only going to lead to us becoming discouraged, depressed, sad, angry and finally giving up on something we thought we really wanted. Let us strive to be the best us we can be. I do me and you do you. Who cares what the world is doing, focus on what you are doing.
You is all you can be.
Me is all I can be.
Oh, and we should be having fun, that is how you know you're doing it right. :)
Much Love
Heather
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Living by the Bra
Wow...it has been a while since I blogged last. Things got a little crazy with publishing the book and other issues that have been on my mind. I did a lot of writing in my journal because there are just somethings you can't say out loud. Sorry for the MIA, I'm going to try and get better!
So...living by the bra. I'm sure any guy reading this is going to be like "WTH!?" And maybe the chicks are thinking it too. But just hear me out.
I have recently got back into working out on a regular basis. Yeah...it has only been one week but I don't plan on stopping this time. After this first week I noticed something, I pretty much live by what bra I wear. I will change bras at least three times a day.
Crazy right?
First thing in the morning I put on the fancy, daily, not so supportive or comfortable bra. Don't worry, I won't bore you with the colors. It's what holds the girls in for the day though. Just enough support to not look like a hooker walking down the street but so not enough to keep the things still while jumping around and working out.
After work I do a quick change into the sports bra. This is the one that presses me almost flat...kind of. And keeps me safe when jumping around. Have you ever gone to a gym and watched a woman work out. Guys, I am sure you have done this plenty of times. Ladies, face it, you have too! Guys for the simple fact that you think you are getting some kind of free show...disgusting, but if the girl is going to do it...why not get a free show right? And ladies, we watch because 1, we think that woman is just looking for attention or 2, you wish your boobs looked as awesome as hers. Ha! Don't lie to yourself.
The point is, the fancy little sports bra may make it hard to breath when I first put it on because my boobs are being pushed into my lungs, but once I get used to it, it's time to work out!
Then, after a cool down and the sweat stops dripping down my face it's time to put on my pajamas. Which, consist of the failed sports bra. The bra that even though it says sports bra, if the boobs are big enough you are still going to give yourself a black eye when you start doing those jumping jacks. Though, for sleep wear it is rather comfortable. Just enough support to where you don't feel constricted and your boobs don't flop around while you sleep.
Now, I know that this is just way to much information for some guys to take in, but ladies, you know what I'm talking about! Especially for us women that were...blessed...or cursed, depending on the days activities.
So, living by the bra...yeah. I do what ever the bra tells me to do. Look cute and sassy and pirky (go on, laugh, I know you want to). Look sweaty, constricted and flat chested (and possibly a little or a lot uncomfortable). Or loose, comfortable and ready for bed. It all depends on the bra.
Much Love
Heather
So...living by the bra. I'm sure any guy reading this is going to be like "WTH!?" And maybe the chicks are thinking it too. But just hear me out.
I have recently got back into working out on a regular basis. Yeah...it has only been one week but I don't plan on stopping this time. After this first week I noticed something, I pretty much live by what bra I wear. I will change bras at least three times a day.
Crazy right?
First thing in the morning I put on the fancy, daily, not so supportive or comfortable bra. Don't worry, I won't bore you with the colors. It's what holds the girls in for the day though. Just enough support to not look like a hooker walking down the street but so not enough to keep the things still while jumping around and working out.
After work I do a quick change into the sports bra. This is the one that presses me almost flat...kind of. And keeps me safe when jumping around. Have you ever gone to a gym and watched a woman work out. Guys, I am sure you have done this plenty of times. Ladies, face it, you have too! Guys for the simple fact that you think you are getting some kind of free show...disgusting, but if the girl is going to do it...why not get a free show right? And ladies, we watch because 1, we think that woman is just looking for attention or 2, you wish your boobs looked as awesome as hers. Ha! Don't lie to yourself.
The point is, the fancy little sports bra may make it hard to breath when I first put it on because my boobs are being pushed into my lungs, but once I get used to it, it's time to work out!
Then, after a cool down and the sweat stops dripping down my face it's time to put on my pajamas. Which, consist of the failed sports bra. The bra that even though it says sports bra, if the boobs are big enough you are still going to give yourself a black eye when you start doing those jumping jacks. Though, for sleep wear it is rather comfortable. Just enough support to where you don't feel constricted and your boobs don't flop around while you sleep.
Now, I know that this is just way to much information for some guys to take in, but ladies, you know what I'm talking about! Especially for us women that were...blessed...or cursed, depending on the days activities.
So, living by the bra...yeah. I do what ever the bra tells me to do. Look cute and sassy and pirky (go on, laugh, I know you want to). Look sweaty, constricted and flat chested (and possibly a little or a lot uncomfortable). Or loose, comfortable and ready for bed. It all depends on the bra.
Much Love
Heather
Friday, March 30, 2012
Does it Mean Anything?
Do you think that dreams are trying to tell you something? Like, what ever you dream, do you think there is a meaning behind it?
I do.
The problem is though, I can never figure out what they mean. It's not every dream though. Just certain ones. Ones that seem to stand out, they have a feeling behind it, like I need to pay attention.
Usually when I have dreams like this I spend all day and sometimes a whole week trying to figure it out. I try to remember as many details as I can. It's hard to figure them out.
I had a dream the other night and my Preacher was in it. At first we were walking together and then he pushed me. It wasn't a gentle push either. He shoved me pretty hard. I kept walking with him and distanced myself from him going down some steps. He then asked me if I trusted him.
HA! Of course not, he had just pushed me. That is when he grabs my arm and pulls me down the steps and to a slide. I keeps telling me to trust him. So, I give in and I trust him. I go down the slide but the end of the slide is rough and I stop. Again my Preacher tells me to trust him and to keep going. I do what anyone would do...I kept going. I slide the rest of the way down the rough part of the slide and landed on top of a brand new silver mustang. Oh, it was nice! My Preacher is standing at the top of the slide looking down on me telling me I just won the car.
Evidently, the first person to touch the car won it. Free and clear. Once this registers I jump off to check it out. People start piling in the car ask to take a ride in it. I know the people that are getting in. The guy in the front seat is a guy I used to have a crush on, though, no longer.
I start to check out the car and it starts to deteriorate. The paint starts chipping and the windows start turning black, like a car that has been sitting in the same spot for years. I hop in the car and the interior is looking old too. I then notice that the car is a stick shift. I have never learned to drive a stick shift so this was a problem. But I quickly dismiss it cause I remember I still have my old car so I can learn to drive a stick shift without the fear of messing up the car. Of course, there is another problem. I finally look up to look out of the front window and I can't see over the hood! This car is simply impossible to drive! Everything is against me.
Of course my first thought is, maybe I can sell it!
And then I wake up.
Then I try to figure out what the dream meant because it meant something. But what?
Was it my doubt and resistance that caused the car to rot away so quickly? Or was it trusting my preacher? Though, I feel like I can trust him. I just can't figure out this dream.
Though, here is what I am thinking. I think that my preacher has guided me to a path of truth. A path that I have been long avoiding. The journey right now is smooth, like the slide, but eventually it will become rough. Maybe the preacher represents God and how if I trust him things will work out. I just have to push forward and trust that God will take me where I need to be.
Maybe this is my sign that the rough part is coming and I need to get ready.
Oh! Maybe talking to church boy is the rough part. I just have to trust that God is with me and I can do anything.
What do you think?
Much Love,
Heather
I do.
The problem is though, I can never figure out what they mean. It's not every dream though. Just certain ones. Ones that seem to stand out, they have a feeling behind it, like I need to pay attention.
Usually when I have dreams like this I spend all day and sometimes a whole week trying to figure it out. I try to remember as many details as I can. It's hard to figure them out.
I had a dream the other night and my Preacher was in it. At first we were walking together and then he pushed me. It wasn't a gentle push either. He shoved me pretty hard. I kept walking with him and distanced myself from him going down some steps. He then asked me if I trusted him.
HA! Of course not, he had just pushed me. That is when he grabs my arm and pulls me down the steps and to a slide. I keeps telling me to trust him. So, I give in and I trust him. I go down the slide but the end of the slide is rough and I stop. Again my Preacher tells me to trust him and to keep going. I do what anyone would do...I kept going. I slide the rest of the way down the rough part of the slide and landed on top of a brand new silver mustang. Oh, it was nice! My Preacher is standing at the top of the slide looking down on me telling me I just won the car.
Evidently, the first person to touch the car won it. Free and clear. Once this registers I jump off to check it out. People start piling in the car ask to take a ride in it. I know the people that are getting in. The guy in the front seat is a guy I used to have a crush on, though, no longer.
I start to check out the car and it starts to deteriorate. The paint starts chipping and the windows start turning black, like a car that has been sitting in the same spot for years. I hop in the car and the interior is looking old too. I then notice that the car is a stick shift. I have never learned to drive a stick shift so this was a problem. But I quickly dismiss it cause I remember I still have my old car so I can learn to drive a stick shift without the fear of messing up the car. Of course, there is another problem. I finally look up to look out of the front window and I can't see over the hood! This car is simply impossible to drive! Everything is against me.
Of course my first thought is, maybe I can sell it!
And then I wake up.
Then I try to figure out what the dream meant because it meant something. But what?
Was it my doubt and resistance that caused the car to rot away so quickly? Or was it trusting my preacher? Though, I feel like I can trust him. I just can't figure out this dream.
Though, here is what I am thinking. I think that my preacher has guided me to a path of truth. A path that I have been long avoiding. The journey right now is smooth, like the slide, but eventually it will become rough. Maybe the preacher represents God and how if I trust him things will work out. I just have to push forward and trust that God will take me where I need to be.
Maybe this is my sign that the rough part is coming and I need to get ready.
Oh! Maybe talking to church boy is the rough part. I just have to trust that God is with me and I can do anything.
What do you think?
Much Love,
Heather
Thursday, March 29, 2012
What a Day
So today has been some what amazing. The morning didn't start so amazing though.
I had trouble eating breakfast. I go through this every once in a while. I just can't fathom the idea of eating breakfast. I force it down anyways though cause I know I need it to go on with my day. Well, after I forced down my breakfast I noticed my cat had gotten sick and left me a gift in the hallway. I cleaned up it, of course. Then the gagging started. Now, I usually have a pretty strong stomach, but when I have trouble eating it just...sucks. Luckily I did keep down the breakfast I forced down.
Then I got to work, still a little sick and so not ready to do anything. I just wanted to go back to bed. Got to my desk and started working on the same thing I have been working on all week...actually for the past few weeks. Boring!
When I get bored I day dream. I started thinking about the cute boy at church and how I REALLY need to talk to him. Though, anyone that knows me also knows that I am rather shy. Well, shy when it comes to new people, especially when it's a guy I'm currently crushing on. That means, for me to actually talk to this guy, I really have to work up some nerves of steel...or something. Of course, day dreaming about talking to him made me smile like a goofball. If you saw this guys smile you would totally understand!
Then came my lonely lunch. I ate alone and wrote in my journal. Mainly just personal thoughts about how I really really want to talk to church boy. Yeah, it has gotten that bad.
And then the awesome thing happened. I had a meeting with one of my bosses. I have three! I work for a company within a company. I have one boss from the company I work for and two bosses from the company I work within. I work half time for both of the bosses for the company I work within. Follow?
Anyways, my boss tells me that I am doing a great job! He is trying to get me a company laptop. WOOT! And I won't be sitting at the same desk all day long! I will work half the day upstairs at the desk I'm at now. Then the other half I will work downstairs with the guys that I started working around in the first place. It's awesome, trust me!
I came home after work, my phone left in my purse (which is why I missed a phone call from a friend. Sorry Crystal!) and started working on my book. I have to get it formatted properly for uploading Saturday. The day is almost here! I am super nervous about this weekend! I am publishing my book and possibly talking to church boy, whom I am quite certain I will eventually marry one day.
Big dreamer over here!
Much Love,
Heather
I had trouble eating breakfast. I go through this every once in a while. I just can't fathom the idea of eating breakfast. I force it down anyways though cause I know I need it to go on with my day. Well, after I forced down my breakfast I noticed my cat had gotten sick and left me a gift in the hallway. I cleaned up it, of course. Then the gagging started. Now, I usually have a pretty strong stomach, but when I have trouble eating it just...sucks. Luckily I did keep down the breakfast I forced down.
Then I got to work, still a little sick and so not ready to do anything. I just wanted to go back to bed. Got to my desk and started working on the same thing I have been working on all week...actually for the past few weeks. Boring!
When I get bored I day dream. I started thinking about the cute boy at church and how I REALLY need to talk to him. Though, anyone that knows me also knows that I am rather shy. Well, shy when it comes to new people, especially when it's a guy I'm currently crushing on. That means, for me to actually talk to this guy, I really have to work up some nerves of steel...or something. Of course, day dreaming about talking to him made me smile like a goofball. If you saw this guys smile you would totally understand!
Then came my lonely lunch. I ate alone and wrote in my journal. Mainly just personal thoughts about how I really really want to talk to church boy. Yeah, it has gotten that bad.
And then the awesome thing happened. I had a meeting with one of my bosses. I have three! I work for a company within a company. I have one boss from the company I work for and two bosses from the company I work within. I work half time for both of the bosses for the company I work within. Follow?
Anyways, my boss tells me that I am doing a great job! He is trying to get me a company laptop. WOOT! And I won't be sitting at the same desk all day long! I will work half the day upstairs at the desk I'm at now. Then the other half I will work downstairs with the guys that I started working around in the first place. It's awesome, trust me!
I came home after work, my phone left in my purse (which is why I missed a phone call from a friend. Sorry Crystal!) and started working on my book. I have to get it formatted properly for uploading Saturday. The day is almost here! I am super nervous about this weekend! I am publishing my book and possibly talking to church boy, whom I am quite certain I will eventually marry one day.
Big dreamer over here!
Much Love,
Heather
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: Never ending pockets
It started as just another day. I crawled out of bed...cause I am NOT a morning person. Hopped in the shower, made my lunch, ate breakfast and headed down the road to work. Got to work and my co-worker wasn't in yet so I took my time getting things done. I kind of dislike when he is in the office cause it's harder to pretend to be doing work when he is there.
Lunch, I ate alone. Yep, that is going to be normal from now on. I got to write. I noticed the walk way outside the cafeteria was jammed with birds. They just party it up outside. Some of them noticed me sitting in the cafeteria today. After work they found me and asked me why I was eating alone. I told them it was better that way because I could write.
After lunch is when things started getting weird. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to put it on my desk. With it came an old movie ticket. I don't remember seeing the movie, it was called Forever. I looked it up but couldn't find it. It must be from another world. Then my co-worker asked me if I had a Greek symbol for =. I was like, "sure let me dig it out of my pocket." I was being funny, but the joke was on me. I pulled it out of my pocket!
That wasn't the end of it either. The birds that I saw after work asked for some bread. I checked my pockets, I was going to turn them inside out to show I didn't have anything. Guess what fell out of my pockets! BREAD!
All kinds of things were falling out of my pockets. I found watches, cups, forks, pocket knives, drinks and snacks. Everytime I stuck my hand in my pocket something new was coming out. I thought it was the pants I was wearing. So I changed them.
Suddenly the new pants were leaking out of the pockets too! I even found a Stephen King book this time!
Then at church I was thinking how I could use a mint and I reached in my pocket and found a mint.
Too bad I can't pull I boyfriend out of it. Although, I did have church boy's attention tonight!
Much Love
Heather
Lunch, I ate alone. Yep, that is going to be normal from now on. I got to write. I noticed the walk way outside the cafeteria was jammed with birds. They just party it up outside. Some of them noticed me sitting in the cafeteria today. After work they found me and asked me why I was eating alone. I told them it was better that way because I could write.
After lunch is when things started getting weird. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to put it on my desk. With it came an old movie ticket. I don't remember seeing the movie, it was called Forever. I looked it up but couldn't find it. It must be from another world. Then my co-worker asked me if I had a Greek symbol for =. I was like, "sure let me dig it out of my pocket." I was being funny, but the joke was on me. I pulled it out of my pocket!
That wasn't the end of it either. The birds that I saw after work asked for some bread. I checked my pockets, I was going to turn them inside out to show I didn't have anything. Guess what fell out of my pockets! BREAD!
All kinds of things were falling out of my pockets. I found watches, cups, forks, pocket knives, drinks and snacks. Everytime I stuck my hand in my pocket something new was coming out. I thought it was the pants I was wearing. So I changed them.
Suddenly the new pants were leaking out of the pockets too! I even found a Stephen King book this time!
Then at church I was thinking how I could use a mint and I reached in my pocket and found a mint.
Too bad I can't pull I boyfriend out of it. Although, I did have church boy's attention tonight!
Much Love
Heather
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: The Eyes
So this morning I woke up paranoid as crap! I thought there was going to be someone standing around every corner, waiting to snap me up and kill me or something. I finally got ready and out to my car and checked my back seats. I just knew there was someone sitting in the back seat waiting to press a blade to my throat. But, just like in the house, there was no one.
I get in my car and start it up. The window is misty with dew from the night and I suddenly realize there is someone standing in the woods! They are standing there, just waiting for me to turn on my headlights. When I turn on the headlights it is going to be some mad crazy looking witch and she is going to come floating to my car, through the window and eat my soul!
I turn on the headlights and then the windshield wipers. I close my eyes and wait.
Nothing happens. I open my eyes fearing that the ugly witch is going to be looking into the car at me. But, alas, there is nothing. Just my paranoia again. I put the car in gear, back out of the drive way and on to work I go.
I look on the side of the road, waiting for some strange man with an axe or the crazy old witch to come flying out of the woods and into my car. But I make it to work just as safely as ever.
At work I feel like everyone is watching me. Which they probably are, to make sure I don't have any fun and work the whole time. I keep looking behind me to make sure no one is standing watching me. I wait for the witch to come out of no where. But still nothing.
I make it through the work day and make it home safely. My paranoia had gone away once I got home. I got ready for church and all was well. I went to a book store before church and everything was fine, awesome in fact. The book store was like walking into heaven. Old books just waiting for me to buy them. They were all screaming "Pick me, Pick me!" But I couldn't pick them all. I promised them all I would be back for more, that seemed to keep them quiet until I left. I wonder how many books I made cry today...
Church! Yay! No need for paranoia here. Everyone is friendly but the bookstore inside the church gets way to crowded and I start to panic. Me and mom leave the bookstore and go find a seat and wait for service to start. Of course I keep my eyes out for the cute guy I always stare at. I can't help it, he has a really nice smile. I spot him of course and all is right with the world.
As every one starts pilling in I start feeling something, like someone is watching me. I can't help but to look up at the ceiling to see if something is there, but there is nothing but lights. But I still feel the eyes on me. Something is watching me. I look for the old witch. I knew she had to be there some where. Looking out from a dark corner, waiting for the perfect time to attack. I see her no where. Then, I find them. THE EYES! The ones that I have felt on me for a few minutes. The eyes that have sent me into a paranoid panic trying to find who they belong to. But as soon as I spot them and stare straight at them, I suddenly no longer care that they watch me.
Why?
Because it is the cute boy whose smile I look for every Sunday and Wednesday. Yes, cute church boy is looking my way! My smile grows as he looks away and I want to jump and scream and shout, but I just can't bring that kind of attention to myself. He would think I was crazy! Though, I am...I don't want him to know that until AFTER he falls in love with me.
And then I saw HER! The old witch that I have been looking for all day! I knew she had been following me. I knew it! When I finally spot her she smiles at me...a real, kind smile, and walks out of the church.
What?? Was that her plan all day? To make me paranoid so that I would see the guy with the cute smile staring at me? Was it her plan to show me that I may not be the only on interested? Oh, old witch, I thought you were evil...Now, you are just confusing.
Much Love
Heather
I get in my car and start it up. The window is misty with dew from the night and I suddenly realize there is someone standing in the woods! They are standing there, just waiting for me to turn on my headlights. When I turn on the headlights it is going to be some mad crazy looking witch and she is going to come floating to my car, through the window and eat my soul!
I turn on the headlights and then the windshield wipers. I close my eyes and wait.
Nothing happens. I open my eyes fearing that the ugly witch is going to be looking into the car at me. But, alas, there is nothing. Just my paranoia again. I put the car in gear, back out of the drive way and on to work I go.
I look on the side of the road, waiting for some strange man with an axe or the crazy old witch to come flying out of the woods and into my car. But I make it to work just as safely as ever.
At work I feel like everyone is watching me. Which they probably are, to make sure I don't have any fun and work the whole time. I keep looking behind me to make sure no one is standing watching me. I wait for the witch to come out of no where. But still nothing.
I make it through the work day and make it home safely. My paranoia had gone away once I got home. I got ready for church and all was well. I went to a book store before church and everything was fine, awesome in fact. The book store was like walking into heaven. Old books just waiting for me to buy them. They were all screaming "Pick me, Pick me!" But I couldn't pick them all. I promised them all I would be back for more, that seemed to keep them quiet until I left. I wonder how many books I made cry today...
Church! Yay! No need for paranoia here. Everyone is friendly but the bookstore inside the church gets way to crowded and I start to panic. Me and mom leave the bookstore and go find a seat and wait for service to start. Of course I keep my eyes out for the cute guy I always stare at. I can't help it, he has a really nice smile. I spot him of course and all is right with the world.
As every one starts pilling in I start feeling something, like someone is watching me. I can't help but to look up at the ceiling to see if something is there, but there is nothing but lights. But I still feel the eyes on me. Something is watching me. I look for the old witch. I knew she had to be there some where. Looking out from a dark corner, waiting for the perfect time to attack. I see her no where. Then, I find them. THE EYES! The ones that I have felt on me for a few minutes. The eyes that have sent me into a paranoid panic trying to find who they belong to. But as soon as I spot them and stare straight at them, I suddenly no longer care that they watch me.
Why?
Because it is the cute boy whose smile I look for every Sunday and Wednesday. Yes, cute church boy is looking my way! My smile grows as he looks away and I want to jump and scream and shout, but I just can't bring that kind of attention to myself. He would think I was crazy! Though, I am...I don't want him to know that until AFTER he falls in love with me.
And then I saw HER! The old witch that I have been looking for all day! I knew she had been following me. I knew it! When I finally spot her she smiles at me...a real, kind smile, and walks out of the church.
What?? Was that her plan all day? To make me paranoid so that I would see the guy with the cute smile staring at me? Was it her plan to show me that I may not be the only on interested? Oh, old witch, I thought you were evil...Now, you are just confusing.
Much Love
Heather
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I just need to rant
Yeah, you should have known it would come soon. Why? Because Heather likes to rant, and I haven't posted anything in almost a week.
Before I say anything I would like to say that I love my friends! Know that, because I am sure you are going to question it after this rant.
So here has what's been bugging me lately.
I am stuck at home just about every weekend. Here lately I have been going out here and there and I have a blast! I love hanging out with friends. I love acting stupid. I love being around people that understand me.
What I don't love is having to ask people to hang out! It has been a while since I had a friend call or text me and say "hey, wanna hang out?" My best friend will ask me to come over to her house, but she has kids...so I guess that is a good excuse. When she is going to go out though she will ask if I want to go. But really that is it.
Most of my other friends will wait for me to call or text them. And then I usually get shot down becuase they already have plans. Just once I want to be bored out of my mind and a friend say "Hey, lets go out!"
I wonder if maybe because I don't drink they don't think I will be any fun? But listen up people! I am awesome and wild! I don't need alcohol to dance on tables or to get out on the dance floor. I won't leave you because I spotted some hot guy that I want to chat up. I won't see other friends and ditch you for them, I may ask them to join us but I will never leave a friend behind.
And best of all, I won't get drunk and forget the awesome time we had the night before. And if I go somewhere with you, you better believe I will be leaving with you.
So I really don't get why my friends don't come to me more often to hang out. I am free most weekends. I even post on facebook all the time if I have plans or not. And then I see all my friends hanging out together having a good time, all while I am sitting at home.
I sometimes wish I lived closer to my friends that I only get to talk to online or on the phone. I bet they would want to hang out every weekend and do stupid stuff that doesn't cost a dime and is just straight up clean fun. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe it's because I still have fun like a little kid. I like to dance in random spots, laugh at silly things, and act like I am a teenager. Is that why my friends don't want to hang out with me? Because I act so much like a kid?
Much Love
Heather
Before I say anything I would like to say that I love my friends! Know that, because I am sure you are going to question it after this rant.
So here has what's been bugging me lately.
I am stuck at home just about every weekend. Here lately I have been going out here and there and I have a blast! I love hanging out with friends. I love acting stupid. I love being around people that understand me.
What I don't love is having to ask people to hang out! It has been a while since I had a friend call or text me and say "hey, wanna hang out?" My best friend will ask me to come over to her house, but she has kids...so I guess that is a good excuse. When she is going to go out though she will ask if I want to go. But really that is it.
Most of my other friends will wait for me to call or text them. And then I usually get shot down becuase they already have plans. Just once I want to be bored out of my mind and a friend say "Hey, lets go out!"
I wonder if maybe because I don't drink they don't think I will be any fun? But listen up people! I am awesome and wild! I don't need alcohol to dance on tables or to get out on the dance floor. I won't leave you because I spotted some hot guy that I want to chat up. I won't see other friends and ditch you for them, I may ask them to join us but I will never leave a friend behind.
And best of all, I won't get drunk and forget the awesome time we had the night before. And if I go somewhere with you, you better believe I will be leaving with you.
So I really don't get why my friends don't come to me more often to hang out. I am free most weekends. I even post on facebook all the time if I have plans or not. And then I see all my friends hanging out together having a good time, all while I am sitting at home.
I sometimes wish I lived closer to my friends that I only get to talk to online or on the phone. I bet they would want to hang out every weekend and do stupid stuff that doesn't cost a dime and is just straight up clean fun. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe it's because I still have fun like a little kid. I like to dance in random spots, laugh at silly things, and act like I am a teenager. Is that why my friends don't want to hang out with me? Because I act so much like a kid?
Much Love
Heather
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: Goodbye Feo
I know it has been a while since I updated. So here it is. A quick update.
Two weeks ago Feo, Ludo and I got an army together. We defeated the king!
Now Feo is back in his home world, ruling his people and taking care of the ones trying to carry out his fathers orders. With Feo's help, Ludo was able to go back in time and save his family. But, because Ludo is an awesome White beast that loves me, he brought his family here to stay for a while. Ludo, his wife, and their two children now live in the underground tunnels that Ludo built. They won't stay for long, just for the summer...well, his worlds summer.
Feo is turning his people back into what they were to begin with, peace keepers of all the universes. He has a heavy task ahead but I have faith in him.
And that is the end of the fight my friends.
Much Love
Heather
P.S. Sorry for the crappy post. I have a few things on my mind and I didn't have time to come up with a good Wacky Wednesday. I haven't posted in over a week so I figured I better post. Things at work have been a little different so I don't get the time at work anymore to write out my blog. I do have a few coming up though. I would like to address my feelings on the Kony 2012 deal as well as a few other serious topics. I will warn you now, I am going to speak my mind and I am sure it will tick a few people off. But that is okay. This is my blog, my home and I can say what I want.
Two weeks ago Feo, Ludo and I got an army together. We defeated the king!
Now Feo is back in his home world, ruling his people and taking care of the ones trying to carry out his fathers orders. With Feo's help, Ludo was able to go back in time and save his family. But, because Ludo is an awesome White beast that loves me, he brought his family here to stay for a while. Ludo, his wife, and their two children now live in the underground tunnels that Ludo built. They won't stay for long, just for the summer...well, his worlds summer.
Feo is turning his people back into what they were to begin with, peace keepers of all the universes. He has a heavy task ahead but I have faith in him.
And that is the end of the fight my friends.
Much Love
Heather
P.S. Sorry for the crappy post. I have a few things on my mind and I didn't have time to come up with a good Wacky Wednesday. I haven't posted in over a week so I figured I better post. Things at work have been a little different so I don't get the time at work anymore to write out my blog. I do have a few coming up though. I would like to address my feelings on the Kony 2012 deal as well as a few other serious topics. I will warn you now, I am going to speak my mind and I am sure it will tick a few people off. But that is okay. This is my blog, my home and I can say what I want.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Yay for Friday!
This week has been crazy! Okay, so maybe not as crazy as you would think from that statement, but it was a tad hectic.
It started off normal. Monday was just like any other Monday, boring and lame. Tuesday is when everything got wound up. I finally got my tax money and decided to get my car fixed instead of getting a newer used car. So, I took my car to the shop after work Tuesday. I really just took it in to get it looked at to see how much it was going to cost first.
They check it out and get me a total on Wednesday. They quoted me $990. Okay, Fix it up! I tell them. Though, they had already fixed the A.C. without asking. So no matter what I was going to owe them something for the car. Well, they tell me it should be done Thursday. YAY! I'm going to have my car as good as new.
Thursday I get home from work and wait for the call telling my car is ready. No call. So my mom calls them and they tell me it should be ready in a little bit. Now, I live about 45 minutes away from the place so me and my mom head out to go pick up my car. We get there and the guy says "Bad News." Great! I love bad news! I had also added an oil change Wednesday so my total was now up to $1022
Evidently one of the NEW parts they put on it wasn't working. Just like new things...they never work right. I decide while I am there I want them to go ahead and put new tires on and a front end alignment. I might as well get it all done at one time and while I have the money. The mechanic figures up the cost of the tires and the alignment and quotes me another $390. Okay, I got this, let's do it. I was told it would be ready today.
Today after work I ask my mom if my car was ready yet. She hadn't heard anything so we were still waiting. I get home and what about an hour and we find out my car is ready. YAY! BUT! Oh yeah, here it comes! When they changed my tires they found something ELSE wrong with the car. Ugh! So they fixed it. That is just fantastic, let's keep adding to the bill.
I go to pick up the car and hand over my bank account plus an arm and a leg. Not really. My final total was $1500. Which is great! My car is pretty much new...engine wise anyways. Now, I just have to get a new headliner, a paint job, and hopefully a new radio. But...I have less than $500 bucks to do all that. LUCKILY! I have some friends that paint cars so, fingers crossed I can get it done cheap.
I am so glad it is Friday! I got my car back, going bowling tomorrow night and Church on Sunday. Woot for weekends. But for the rest of the night, I shall play Sims 3 since my computer is letting me play!
Much Love,
Heather
It started off normal. Monday was just like any other Monday, boring and lame. Tuesday is when everything got wound up. I finally got my tax money and decided to get my car fixed instead of getting a newer used car. So, I took my car to the shop after work Tuesday. I really just took it in to get it looked at to see how much it was going to cost first.
They check it out and get me a total on Wednesday. They quoted me $990. Okay, Fix it up! I tell them. Though, they had already fixed the A.C. without asking. So no matter what I was going to owe them something for the car. Well, they tell me it should be done Thursday. YAY! I'm going to have my car as good as new.
Thursday I get home from work and wait for the call telling my car is ready. No call. So my mom calls them and they tell me it should be ready in a little bit. Now, I live about 45 minutes away from the place so me and my mom head out to go pick up my car. We get there and the guy says "Bad News." Great! I love bad news! I had also added an oil change Wednesday so my total was now up to $1022
Evidently one of the NEW parts they put on it wasn't working. Just like new things...they never work right. I decide while I am there I want them to go ahead and put new tires on and a front end alignment. I might as well get it all done at one time and while I have the money. The mechanic figures up the cost of the tires and the alignment and quotes me another $390. Okay, I got this, let's do it. I was told it would be ready today.
Today after work I ask my mom if my car was ready yet. She hadn't heard anything so we were still waiting. I get home and what about an hour and we find out my car is ready. YAY! BUT! Oh yeah, here it comes! When they changed my tires they found something ELSE wrong with the car. Ugh! So they fixed it. That is just fantastic, let's keep adding to the bill.
I go to pick up the car and hand over my bank account plus an arm and a leg. Not really. My final total was $1500. Which is great! My car is pretty much new...engine wise anyways. Now, I just have to get a new headliner, a paint job, and hopefully a new radio. But...I have less than $500 bucks to do all that. LUCKILY! I have some friends that paint cars so, fingers crossed I can get it done cheap.
I am so glad it is Friday! I got my car back, going bowling tomorrow night and Church on Sunday. Woot for weekends. But for the rest of the night, I shall play Sims 3 since my computer is letting me play!
Much Love,
Heather
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Romeo and Juliet
I know how the story goes. I know that Romeo and Juliet do something terribly stupid and kill themselves because they can't be together. A tragic love story that just makes me angry really.
I think parents are forgetting what a blessing their children are. And I think with the loss of that comes a loss of human decency. Which is why more kids are being picked on now. Have you seen how bad the bullying has become in the schools?
Today I wondered though, did they find each other in heaven. Or are they forced to yearn for the one they love for all of eternity. Lovers torn apart for all of eternity. What it boils down to is I have always been told that people who commit suicide go straight to hell. So, since Romeo and Juliet both killed themselves they went to hell right? I think that idea is more tragic than the secret romance they shared in their lives.
On a serious note though, I want to express my opinion on suicide. Again I say, go watch the movie "What Dreams May Come." I don't know why but that movie makes more sense to me than anything I have ever read, heard, or seen.
As I stated, I was raised being told that people who commit suicide go straight to hell. Now, in "What Dreams May Come" the mother kills herself and becomes a lost soul in hell. Each person has their own kind of hell, just like they all have their own kind of heaven. I actually find this more acceptable than the idea that people just burn in hell for their sins.
What I wonder about most though are the young kids that commit suicide. By young I am including teenagers in this...and I totally just made myself feel old calling teenagers kids! There are so many teen suicides now days! As the suicide statistics go up the ages seem to go down too! These poor kids are being beaten by parents and other kids, both physically and mentally. Life gets so bad for them that all they can think is how bad they want out. Saddly, for some, they think that the only way out is through suicide.
It breaks my heart! I want to reach out to every child and teenager that thinks of killing themselves. I want to hug each one and tell them that they are loved! And this is coming from someone that doesn't really like touching people or telling someone I love them! I sit back and read the stories as they scroll across our screens. With each suicide and suicide attempt I feel like I lose another piece of my heart.
Where are their parents and friends? Why are schools looking the other way as the "geek" gets pushed around? Why are parental guardians ignoring their childrens cries for help? And why are parents adding to the heart break a kid has to go through?
I just heard a story the other day about a 10 year old girl who got off the bus just so her mom could yell at her. She told the girl how big of a mistake she was and how she should have never been born. Why in the world would you tell such a precious child that?
I think parents are forgetting what a blessing their children are. And I think with the loss of that comes a loss of human decency. Which is why more kids are being picked on now. Have you seen how bad the bullying has become in the schools?
To any parent that may read this, pay attention to your kids, they are more than likely begging for your attention. To any lost teenagers that may be reading this, I don't know you, but I care. We have to start taking care of one another. We have to stop this horrible problem. We have to pay more attention and we have to listen for the cries for help.
As for the kids, teenagers, and even adults that have committed suicide, I pray that there is some mercy in death for you. I know life can get hard and some people just can't deal because they don't know where to go to find the strength. For the kids, teenagers, and adults that have attempted or even thought about it, find help before you do something that can not be undone.
Life is to precious to give away.
Much Love,
Heather
Much Love,
Heather
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Sunday Service #1
So, I have decided to start something new on here. I go to church every Sunday and I felt like maybe I need to share what I learn from the service.
Since I started going to church again a lot of things have come to make sense. I'm not as stressed and I don't get as angry as I used to. I am happier now then I have been in a long time. My goals in life have become a heck of a lot clearer too.
Now, I want to share the changes in my life. I want the internet to have a front row ticket to the things God has given me in my life. I want to share the learning that I get in church.
If you don't believe in God, that is okay, I am not forcing you to read my Sunday post. If you disagree with things that I say, feel free to tell me so, I don't mind. Do not come here and tell me that God is not real because I know that He is real. If you don't believe, I don't have any proof that can change your mind and I won't try to change it. I ask that you respect me and my blog by not forcing your own beliefs on me. I am open to hear what you have to say, in a friendly discussion.
As for today, what Apostle said opened my mind to a few things. What I learned today is that, while I pray, I can not sit back and let God do all the work for me. God will give me the strength and the tools to do what I need to do. It is up to me to use those tools and strength in the right way to get me where I want to go.
So much more was said today. It was an overwhelming service and I can not wait till Wednesday for another service. Since I just decided to do this blog like...5 minutes ago I didn't write notes or anything to add to my blog. I can't remember what scriptures were read from, but next week I will be more prepared.
As I said previously, if you don't want to read it, skip my Sunday post. If you have some hateful comment towards what I have posted, keep it to yourself. This is something that I have found I enjoy and I hope that while I pay more attention to service I will learn more.
I hope that many can learn more from me and find a new peace as I find my own.
Much Love and God bless
Heather
Since I started going to church again a lot of things have come to make sense. I'm not as stressed and I don't get as angry as I used to. I am happier now then I have been in a long time. My goals in life have become a heck of a lot clearer too.
Now, I want to share the changes in my life. I want the internet to have a front row ticket to the things God has given me in my life. I want to share the learning that I get in church.
If you don't believe in God, that is okay, I am not forcing you to read my Sunday post. If you disagree with things that I say, feel free to tell me so, I don't mind. Do not come here and tell me that God is not real because I know that He is real. If you don't believe, I don't have any proof that can change your mind and I won't try to change it. I ask that you respect me and my blog by not forcing your own beliefs on me. I am open to hear what you have to say, in a friendly discussion.
As for today, what Apostle said opened my mind to a few things. What I learned today is that, while I pray, I can not sit back and let God do all the work for me. God will give me the strength and the tools to do what I need to do. It is up to me to use those tools and strength in the right way to get me where I want to go.
So much more was said today. It was an overwhelming service and I can not wait till Wednesday for another service. Since I just decided to do this blog like...5 minutes ago I didn't write notes or anything to add to my blog. I can't remember what scriptures were read from, but next week I will be more prepared.
As I said previously, if you don't want to read it, skip my Sunday post. If you have some hateful comment towards what I have posted, keep it to yourself. This is something that I have found I enjoy and I hope that while I pay more attention to service I will learn more.
I hope that many can learn more from me and find a new peace as I find my own.
Much Love and God bless
Heather
Throw a Tantrum
It doesn't matter how this came up or why my mind went there. All that matters is that it's a good idea!
I will be nice and explain how it came about though. One of my cousins felt like she was going to have a panic attack. I so know what that is like as do a lot of other people. She mentioned something about sitting in the floor and throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old.
Now, I throw tantrums already. No lie. I get tired and cranky and I will just tantrum out. Usually it's late at night and I realize I forgot to feed the cats. Stupid cats. Not really, I love my kitties.
Thinking about how I usually feel better after my childish tantrums struck an idea! The British have tea time, the Islamic (is that right?) has prayer time everyday. America, we are one messed up country. The only thing to do in our situation is to have a tantrum. I'm thinking about every day at 5pm for about 15 minutes we should all just tantrum out! We should fall to the floor and pound our fist into it, kick our feet and scream. We should just up and down and fling our arms everywhere and scream at the top of our lungs.
Could you imagine that stress relief? Also, with lower stress levels couldn't that lower crime rates too? Most people do crimes because they are angry or stressed. Yeah, some people are just stupid but let's focus on the ones who have just had it with the world. Poor people steal. Angry people fight. Being poor = stress. Angry = stress. Let's get rid of any emotion that is not happiness. Everything else just equals stress.
How do you relieve stress? THROW A TANTRUM! Adults have more of a right to it than kids.
Go on, give it a try. You and I both know you want to.
Much Love,
Heather
Thursday, March 1, 2012
5 Reasons it Sucks to Work Full Time
Today I realized something. Sometimes, having a full time job sucks.
With this thought I decided to put together a list of reasons why.
1. Most people spend about 17 hours a day awake. With a full time job you spend at least 8 of those hours at work. For me, I spend an hour getting ready, 30 - 45 minutest to get to work and 30 - 45 getting back home. There is already 10 hours of my day.
2. If you work first shift, like I do, you get off work just in time to rush to get things done before everything closes up. I get off work around 4 everyday, take in the time to drive, the fact that banks and offices close at 5...it's a rush to get anything done. (Luckily my mom helps me out.)
3. Not many doctors offices or dentist stay open past 5 or 6 pm. So if you have medical issues you have to miss work. Missing work means one of two things, (1) You miss out on those few hours of money. (2) You have to stay even later the rest of the week to make up for it. Not cool.
4. By the time you get home you are so tired you can't do much of anything. This may just be me...but once I get home I am whooped. Today I came home from work not realizing how tired I was. I sat to watch a little T.V. to chill out, I woke up two hours later. I so did not mean to fall asleep.
5. All day you think about ALL the things you could be doing if you were at home or not tied to a desk.
So there you go. The 5 reasons it sucks to have a full time job.
Tomorrow I will give you the 5 reasons it rocks to have a full time job. Cause every negative thing usually has at least one positive thing to counter it.
To all you full time employees out there, I feel your pain, but I love the money!
Much Love,
Heather
With this thought I decided to put together a list of reasons why.
1. Most people spend about 17 hours a day awake. With a full time job you spend at least 8 of those hours at work. For me, I spend an hour getting ready, 30 - 45 minutest to get to work and 30 - 45 getting back home. There is already 10 hours of my day.
2. If you work first shift, like I do, you get off work just in time to rush to get things done before everything closes up. I get off work around 4 everyday, take in the time to drive, the fact that banks and offices close at 5...it's a rush to get anything done. (Luckily my mom helps me out.)
3. Not many doctors offices or dentist stay open past 5 or 6 pm. So if you have medical issues you have to miss work. Missing work means one of two things, (1) You miss out on those few hours of money. (2) You have to stay even later the rest of the week to make up for it. Not cool.
4. By the time you get home you are so tired you can't do much of anything. This may just be me...but once I get home I am whooped. Today I came home from work not realizing how tired I was. I sat to watch a little T.V. to chill out, I woke up two hours later. I so did not mean to fall asleep.
5. All day you think about ALL the things you could be doing if you were at home or not tied to a desk.
So there you go. The 5 reasons it sucks to have a full time job.
Tomorrow I will give you the 5 reasons it rocks to have a full time job. Cause every negative thing usually has at least one positive thing to counter it.
To all you full time employees out there, I feel your pain, but I love the money!
Much Love,
Heather
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wacky Wednesday: Feo's People
I know you have been wondering what Feo was. What are his abilities? Why are his people so strong? Why is his father, the king, so bent on taking over all parallel universes? Well, I am about to answer those questions to the best of my ability.
First off, Feo and his people call themselves the Valilma. They were created to protect the worlds. That is how they are able to go between planes and into new worlds and universes. They were peaceful until Feo's father came to term. Feo has asked several people what happened, but no one really knows. Feo's grandfather was a great man and helped many worlds get back on their feet. I was told that his grandfather was the reason we earthlings (lol) were able to come out of the Great Depression in the 30's.
An ability that the Valilma have is shape shifting. This is what brought all this on today. I passed a guy that looked just like David Bowie at work today. Evidently they know more about me than I thought. They know my obsession with the movie Labyrinth. David Bowie played the Goblin King. After speaking to Feo I now know that this was the Kings way of letting me know that they know me. It was my sign or clue that they are closing in. I am not liking this at all.
That is about all I know of their abilities though. Just that they can travel between worlds and shape shift to blind in where ever they go. They don't look like humans either, but I have never seen one in it's true form. Feo refuses to show me, Ludo thinks it's for the best.
So, all we can figure is that Feo's father has lost his mind. We don't really know his motive for destroying the things that he is supposed to be protecting.
Good news, Ludo knows where the portals are and Feo tracked down a few Valilam that are working against the King. Feo and the other Valilam have gone through different portals to find all the other creatures that want to help us take down the King. Our plan is to attack Friday, when the King usually has a huge feast to celebrate his accomplishments. Ludo stays with me wherever I go. Ludo learned a new trick so that he could stick with me. Feo taught him how to tap into the abilities of the White Beast, he can shrink! Only a few White Beast are ever able to achieve this. Feo is a good teacher and I think he will be a great King.
I will let you know how it goes...you know, saving the world and all.
Much Love
Heather
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
My Little Pony?
There is this new thing going around the internet. It seems everyone is watching My Little Pony again. I don't mean just the kids either. These are adults watching it and loving it as much, if not more, than the kids. It has become a bit of an epidemic. But an awesome one!
A friend was telling me about it. Being the curious dork that I am, I started watching My Little Pony. Now, when I was younger I loved the show and the little dolls. Actually, I never really stopped liking it. I love all the colors and who doesn't love ponies? I have now become addicted to My Little Pony.
It has actually taken over my life if I want to be honest. The other day I was in a meeting at work when one of the guys said something about "the running of the guns." Know what my first thought was? "The running of the leaves." Which just so happens to be a MLP episode. If you don't know it, this episode the ponies race through the forest and make the leaves fall off the trees. Yeah, sad that I thought about this while at work.
That's not the end of it either. The other night I was dreaming about a book that I am reading. It starts off kind of dark a dreary and the main character had been burned. She was in a tattoo parlor and walked out to the street. Everything was run down and it didn't look good. Then, all of a sudden, EVERYTHING IS PONIES! It's bright and colorful and the burned character is a pretty, colorful, perfectly fine pony. Can you say mind blown!
Now, when I first started hearing about the new MLP fad I just shrugged it off. When my friend started talking about it I made fun of the ponies names. I mean come on...Pinkie Pie...sounds like a strippers name. So I made fun of how the ponies were secretly strippers. Now, I just can't think of them that way. I am addicted to the ponies. It's like a new sort of drug. I even have my T.V. set to record all the episodes.
To top it all off, I am going to Goodwill this weekend to see if I can find some old discarded pony toys that I can repaint. Yeah, I think it's getting to a point of no return.
To all you pony lovers, I have joined your club and you can't kick me out!
A friend was telling me about it. Being the curious dork that I am, I started watching My Little Pony. Now, when I was younger I loved the show and the little dolls. Actually, I never really stopped liking it. I love all the colors and who doesn't love ponies? I have now become addicted to My Little Pony.
It has actually taken over my life if I want to be honest. The other day I was in a meeting at work when one of the guys said something about "the running of the guns." Know what my first thought was? "The running of the leaves." Which just so happens to be a MLP episode. If you don't know it, this episode the ponies race through the forest and make the leaves fall off the trees. Yeah, sad that I thought about this while at work.
That's not the end of it either. The other night I was dreaming about a book that I am reading. It starts off kind of dark a dreary and the main character had been burned. She was in a tattoo parlor and walked out to the street. Everything was run down and it didn't look good. Then, all of a sudden, EVERYTHING IS PONIES! It's bright and colorful and the burned character is a pretty, colorful, perfectly fine pony. Can you say mind blown!
Now, when I first started hearing about the new MLP fad I just shrugged it off. When my friend started talking about it I made fun of the ponies names. I mean come on...Pinkie Pie...sounds like a strippers name. So I made fun of how the ponies were secretly strippers. Now, I just can't think of them that way. I am addicted to the ponies. It's like a new sort of drug. I even have my T.V. set to record all the episodes.
To top it all off, I am going to Goodwill this weekend to see if I can find some old discarded pony toys that I can repaint. Yeah, I think it's getting to a point of no return.
To all you pony lovers, I have joined your club and you can't kick me out!
Monday, February 27, 2012
The End of the World
I have been spending a lot of time online, reading the news and comments that follow the articles. The cruelty that lives in this world today breaks my heart. I have read articles about parents abusing or killing their kids, celebrities being called fat, kids killing kids, kids having kids, and so many other horrible things. I have even read articles about how religion is pointless or how everyone is going to Hell if you don't believe (from one extreme to the next).
The comments are just as bad. It seems that everything ends in a religious debate. I don't understand why we can't just leave each other alone. I believe in God and things that come along with that. I don't believe people are going to hell because they don't believe, I just don't think they will go where believers will go. Check out the movie "What Dreams May Come" and you will see where I am going with that thought. I don't think gay people are going to Hell because I believe love is love and it is something that we are lacking terribly in this world.
If you don't believe in what I believe in, that is okay with me. If you want to hear what I believe in, let's talk. I love hearing what others believe in. You won't change my mind and I am not trying to change yours, I just want to compare our thoughts. It's called a discussion, one that doesn't end in a heated argument because I will not argue with you. If you get mad at me for something I say and decide to argue, I may possibly just walk away.
So, why can't others use this method?
The truth is, we are all human. We have flaws no matter what you believe in. One day we will see who is right. Until there we just have to try to get along. We have to show some decency towards each other. But I am not so ignorant that I believe we will all get along one day.
Which is why I think the whole "2012" end of the world conspiracy isn't so outrageous. No, I don't think it is true. I don't think the world is going to end in December, at least I hope not. I have so much more to experience in life (first kiss, falling in love, marriage, kids, retirement) I would love the opportunity to experience it all.
What I am saying is, if the world did end this year, it's not so surprising. Not with all the hate in the world. Maybe we should be wiped out. Maybe the world should start fresh, whether by God or mother nature herself.
I can only see the world getting worse. Though, I have seen a rise in people attending church. There was a story on the news the other day that more young people are going to church to find someone to date, instead of going to the bars. When my mom told me that my hopes of finding a worthy mate renewed. Though, not everyone that attends church is a good person. Some only go to put on a front, but that is a story for another blog.
We are destroying ourselves. We fight, we hate, we hurt. And we don't take care of our planet. It would only make sense that mother nature lash out at us and take us down.
Much Love,
Heather
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A Change is Coming
It's amazing how one day you can wake up and realize there is so much in your life that you need to change. I wish it happened like it does in the movies, where a montages starts with awesome music. Then before you know it everything is changed and you move on with your new life.
It has been a few weeks since I woke up and realized things need to change. This morning though, I woke up and realized there are a few things that I am hanging on to that I really need to let go. Things that are holding be back from my dreams. I won't say what these things are because somethings really are meant to be kept to yourself.
I will say, there has been a wish in my heart that has been there for a while. I wish so strong that some days it is all I think about. Today when I woke up something clicked. I realized that this wish was holding me back. I have been debating about it all day. Church this morning didn't help much either. Apostle was telling us to never stop praying. He said that the one prayer you decide not to pray could be the one that God was going to bless you.
My heart has been on hold for so long. Waiting for this wish to come true. Praying that it was in God's plans for me. And as I type this, my once clear mind is no longer clear. What if it is in God's plans for me, I just have to be patient for it.
Yikes.
That is only one part of things I need to change though. I think with much prayer and thought I can figure it out.
I am going to end this blog before I make myself any more confused. Sometimes a wish is just a wish, something you don't really need. It could be dangerous to pray for a wish. You may get what you didn't want.
I must go now, to think.
Much Love,
Heather
It has been a few weeks since I woke up and realized things need to change. This morning though, I woke up and realized there are a few things that I am hanging on to that I really need to let go. Things that are holding be back from my dreams. I won't say what these things are because somethings really are meant to be kept to yourself.
I will say, there has been a wish in my heart that has been there for a while. I wish so strong that some days it is all I think about. Today when I woke up something clicked. I realized that this wish was holding me back. I have been debating about it all day. Church this morning didn't help much either. Apostle was telling us to never stop praying. He said that the one prayer you decide not to pray could be the one that God was going to bless you.
My heart has been on hold for so long. Waiting for this wish to come true. Praying that it was in God's plans for me. And as I type this, my once clear mind is no longer clear. What if it is in God's plans for me, I just have to be patient for it.
Yikes.
That is only one part of things I need to change though. I think with much prayer and thought I can figure it out.
I am going to end this blog before I make myself any more confused. Sometimes a wish is just a wish, something you don't really need. It could be dangerous to pray for a wish. You may get what you didn't want.
I must go now, to think.
Much Love,
Heather
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Working at Home
I have been working all day! I know what you are thinking, "But Heather, you don't work on the weekends!" But my friends, I do. I have revised 4 chapters of my book. I may try and get in one more before bed.
It seems that for a writer, the work is never done. Let me tell you though, it has been a while since I have sat down this long with my book and it feels nice. I have been lost in a world that I created and I still get shocked by some of the things I wrote. How weird is that?
I have not gotten out of my pajamas either. I have been in front of my computer since 2 this afternoon. I took a break for dinner and a few snacks in between. I could have done more chapters I'm sure, but I am proud of the work I have done today. I am also proud of how my writing has improved of the years!
The first few chapters of the book I rewrote a lot of stuff. I just didn't like how things were worded and how elementary they sounded. As I get further along there is less for me to rewrite and fewer errors. It's pleasing to see.
I am almost out of time though! I have until Tuesday to get things done if I want to stick to my deadline. There is so much to do after I finish revising the book. The closer I get the more excited and nervous I get. I just pray that my friends will read my book and pass along my name so that others can read it as well. I have put so many years into this one book, I don't want it to be a flop.
So, because I have been working all day on my book I didn't really have time to write out a nice blog for you. That is why you get this. Hopefully soon I will have the proper time to work on a post I have been wanting to do. It's funny, but so does not belong as a Wacky Wednesday. You will love it!
Much Love,
Heather
It seems that for a writer, the work is never done. Let me tell you though, it has been a while since I have sat down this long with my book and it feels nice. I have been lost in a world that I created and I still get shocked by some of the things I wrote. How weird is that?
I have not gotten out of my pajamas either. I have been in front of my computer since 2 this afternoon. I took a break for dinner and a few snacks in between. I could have done more chapters I'm sure, but I am proud of the work I have done today. I am also proud of how my writing has improved of the years!
The first few chapters of the book I rewrote a lot of stuff. I just didn't like how things were worded and how elementary they sounded. As I get further along there is less for me to rewrite and fewer errors. It's pleasing to see.
I am almost out of time though! I have until Tuesday to get things done if I want to stick to my deadline. There is so much to do after I finish revising the book. The closer I get the more excited and nervous I get. I just pray that my friends will read my book and pass along my name so that others can read it as well. I have put so many years into this one book, I don't want it to be a flop.
So, because I have been working all day on my book I didn't really have time to write out a nice blog for you. That is why you get this. Hopefully soon I will have the proper time to work on a post I have been wanting to do. It's funny, but so does not belong as a Wacky Wednesday. You will love it!
Much Love,
Heather
Friday, February 24, 2012
Crazy Good Mood
The past few days have been crazy! I have been in such an awesome mood. There isn't even a real reason for it. I woke up yesterday with a song stuck in my head that really got me going. I danced around, even though I didn't have time and I was the only one that heard the music. I was just in a good mood. This morning, same thing! A different song stuck in my head but it made me dance around. I even got up late this morning, which usually ruins my day.
One thing I have noticed is the weather. Yesterday was such a beautiful day. The ride home was better than a summer day by the pool. I went to my old job and saw some of my favorite people there. Then went home where I screwed up all my healthy eating I had done, but it was okay, I was in a good mood.
This morning I woke up with a smile...after I freaked out about how late I was. I still made it to work on time! The morning was beautiful. I even spotted a new long hair hottie at work!
I think, I am finding my faith again. Maybe that is the cause of this mood swing. I am laying a foundation for the rest of my life. I can see it forming. My life has been a bit of a mess. I didn't know what I wanted, I only had ideas. I have figured it out for sure this time. My dreams are clear and I can even see them happening. Just yesterday I got excited thinking about all the books I want to write.
Since I have decided to self-publish my dreams are easier to see. I won't have a company telling me what kind of books I can write. What writer wants to be forced to write the same genre all their lives? I want to get into as many genres as I can think of stories to write!
My dream, the one that has been with me the longest now, is to become a published author. That will happen on March 21st. Another part of my dream is to become a well known author. I want to purchase a cabin in the mountains as well as another house near home. The cabin is more of a get away for writing. I won't have cable or internet. Though, I am debating about the internet...how would I blog? Obviously the details can be worked out once the big things are in motion. For once, my dreams don't seem so distant. I know I can make it.
Maybe my good mood is just because of the beautiful weather. Or is the weather beautiful because of my good mood? ;)
Much Love,
Heather
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