Wear a Sign!

I think everyone should walk around wearing signs. Signs that are like the whole facebook thing. "single" "In a relationship" "married" "engaged" "it's complicated". You know how much easier things would be? They should wear them over their heads like the plumbob over a sims head!

Sorry for the poor graphic...I didn't feel like doing any better. You're lucky you got that!

So anyways, it would be easier if it was just out there in plain sight. People don't always wear their wedding/engagement rings. And how are you supposed to know if someone is in a relationship? We need signs! Sure, I can stalk a guy all I want and find him on facebook...find out if he has a girlfriend or not. But really, my stalking skills have only worked on one person, all the other guys just think I'm creepy and block me.

That means, stalking is out of the question. Sadness. I am going to send a letter to the president about how we all need to wear signs! It is only common sense. I mean...what if the cute guy at Walmart has a girlfriend? Flirting with him can get me in trouble. I don't know about you but I don't want to have to beat a skank down.  And what about the really hot guys with the long hair that I pass most mornings going to work? What if they are married or have a girlfriend. It's just dangerous to flirt now days!

We should all wear signs. We need signs! Or just walk around blurting out if you are single or not.

Much Love
Heather

Left Behind

I have been doing way to much thinking lately! And somethings...I can't share with anyone cause I just don't think anyone would truly understand. But this came up today. Being left behind.

It seems that all my friends from high school have moved on to a new chapter in their life. Getting married, having kids, buying homes. And I feel like I am stuck in the same place I have always been.

Okay, not really in the same place. I'm just moving a lot slower than all my friends and it kind of sucks. I was never the party girl so I didn't party with the rest of them. I didn't have a ton of boyfriends...or any for that matter. I stayed in the shadows and watched as life passed me by. I am the watcher.

I watch people create amazing lives. I watch people fall in love. I watch people raise kids. I sit in the side lines wondering if I will ever have any of that. I feel like a ghost. I can look but can't touch. I see it all. And you know, I get super jealous of my friends.

I have an awesome career on track. I am working towards financial freedom. I pay my bills on time and I enjoy laughing, which I do often. So...why do I feel so left behind, left in the dark, brushed under the carpet, invisible?

I feel like no one sees me and no one really knows me. And I am sure that's true just because I stopped expressing my feelings a long time ago. I laugh and I get angry. When I am upset I get quiet but I won't tell you what is really bothering me. And I guess that makes it my own fault that I am just a spirit drifting through life. Just doing what I have to do to get it over with.

I keep waiting for something amazing to happen like it does in the movies. It's what I am best at, dreaming. I keep waiting for my music to play and everything in life to just fall into place. I feel like I am on one of those old time torture machines that stretches people. I'm trying to hold on to the past and reaching for the future at the same time. While the past should be remembered, sometimes you just have to let go. I am a pack rat. I don't want to let go of anything. I'm afraid that if I let go I will lose who I am. I like who I am. Or maybe I am just afraid of others not liking me.

I'm falling apart. Torn from limb to limb. Trying to figure out where it is I belong in this world. And when I find my place will it be too late?

To my dear friends that may read this, I am proud of you all. I am proud to sit back and watch you thrive in life and do the things you have always dreamed of doing. And sometimes I am happy just being able to see you have wonderful lives. And sometimes I just wish I could be as strong and determined as you.

Much Love
Heather

Just Kill Me Now

I have a sinus infection. NOOO!!! It sucks.

I haven't felt like doing anything and I couldn't even enjoy church this morning. All I want to do is go to bed, which is what I am about to do. The worst part is I can't miss work. I mean, I could, but I am not going to miss out on that money.

My eyes hurt, my head hurts, and I have like zero energy.

And that is why this blog is about to end.

What really sucks though, is when I am sick I get depressed. Everything that I dislike in my life comes to the front of my mind and that is all I can think about. And for some reason the list of things I dislike about my life is huge! And a few things I know I can change.

To name a few: I hate my weight. I, and you are going to call me conceited, honestly think I am a very pretty girl! Seriously. But I feel like my weight dumbs down my...beauty...and makes me look more like a plain Jane.

And I think my plain Jane look has something to do with me still being single. Though that could also be because I am picky or just have my heart set on a certain...idea. An idea that I know I should let go of. An idea that is killing me from the inside out. So, I need to squash the idea, somehow.

Then there is the fact that I have so much to do and don't do any of it. I use the excuse that working a full time job doesn't allow me the time to do much of anything. My mom said something to me today that made me really think. She said "Excuses are the devils work." Yeah, I believe in stuff like that. No, I am not one of these extremist that say God hates anything. My God loves everyone no matter what choices they make in life. And I do believe that when we try to go on the right path that the devil steps in our way. So I need to drop the excuses.

What have I learned today? I have a lot of issues I need to deal with. I need to do what I need to do, stop making excuses and stop holding on to ideas/dreams/wishes that will never come true. I just have to figure out how to do that and if I am ready for the pain that will follow. Mental and physical pain.

My first step: Going to the doctor and getting rid of this sinus infection!

Much Love
Heather

Rain, Rain, Go away!

It has been raining like crazy here lately. It's borderline ridiculous now. I am so sick of it. It sucks trying to drive in mornings when it rains. I already have trouble driving in the dark, the headlights from oncoming cars make it super hard to see the road! And when it rains, it makes it even worse.

I haven't been able to play with my dog cause it's raining and all muddy. Yeah, bad excuse not to play with Sparty, but...I will use it for now.

The point is, I want the rain to stop! I would love to see some snow this year. Just one snow. A light snow. I want it to start on a Friday after work, snow all day Saturday and clear up by Monday so I don't miss work. Perfect. I only look for one snow a year. We haven't even had ice this year and we usually get a fair amount of ice!

Dear weather,

Stop being so bipolar! It's Winter, give me cold snow! And it should be cold until at least...March! One day it's super cold, the next day it's warm. Why are you so moody?

Sincerly,
Me

With that I say farewell, until...maybe tomorrow. It is Friday tomorrow after all. So, have a wonderful Friday!

Much Love
Heather

The world in a frame

My eyes! They hurt, which in turn causes my head to hurt.

Sunday night I noticed that my left eye was a little red. I was going to take my contacts out but I forgot. Yeah, I forget things really quickly. Once again, another night, like most nights, I slept with my contacts in. They are meant to be slept in, don't freak. The next morning, Monday, I woke up with my eye feeling weird and hurting. I look in the mirror and BAM!

Red burning eye! my first thought "Please don't be pink eye!" I actually googled pink eye. Gotta love Google! Luckily it wasn't pink eye. The bad news is I didn't have safety goggles to wear over my glasses and...I kind of have to have that or get in trouble. I don't know what getting in trouble really means where I work, so I stay out of trouble. Meaning, I popped in a new pair of contacts, hoping that would help, and headed to work with my glasses and contact solution in my bag.

At lunch my eye was getting worse so I got the big bulky safety glasses and took my contacts out and wore glasses the rest of the day.

This morning I woke up thinking that I could wear my contacts now. My eye had plenty of time to clear up and be better. But I was wrong, of course. Off to work I went, with my glasses sitting on my nose.

My eye is still red and I am really  hoping it is better by tomorrow so I can wear my contacts again. My head hurts from my eyes bothering me and my glasses sitting on my nose and behind my ears. Who knew that glasses were such a pain?! Not only that, but when I look up I have to move my head up so I keep the world in the frame.

The world in a frame.

Wish me luck!

Much Love
Heather

Hoarders

I am addicted to the show Hoarders. I am also disgusted by it. Though, more disgusted with Hoarders: Buried Alive.

I feel sorry for most of these people. They have such mental issues that they can't let anything go. I admit, I have a few things that I just can not let go of. There are two things I will share with you right now. And this is just a tad bit embarrassing but...it is time that the world knows.

My two most prized possessions have no value to anyone but me. They have a story behind each and the story still goes on. So...without further adieu meet Teresa and...blankie

First, Teresa was given to me by an old babysitter who I adored! She was probably the best babysitter anyone could ask for. Funny, her name was Teresa. The doll was made for her when she was younger so the back of the dolls neck has the name Teresa. Sure,  I could have come up with a more creative name when I was younger but why would I do that?

Then there is blankie. I have had this blanket since the day I was born. It was given to me by my grandma on my moms side. When I first got it...it was pink. lol Now, it kind of looks dirty but no amount of washing it will make it look cleaner. It used to have silk around the edges that I would rub and eventually rubbed most of it off. There are still spots...okay A spot that has the silk. I could never let it go. If there was a fire, the first thing I would save is this blanket. My grandma gave it to me. She died when I was four. In a way, I feel closer to her through the blanket and I know how weird that may sound. I will even admit, when I get really stressed and just don't know what to do, I will sleep with my blanket. lol I sleep with it under my head on those nights and oddly enough, I feel better the next day. I know it is probably all in my head, but we all have our quirks.

The point is, I can understand hoarders to a point. But when you get to where you can't move around in your house...GET HELP! Start throwing stuff away. They call it spring cleaning. I hate clutter and I have a lot of it right now. My room gets smaller and smaller with every year that passes as I collect more stuff. But, most of what I collect are books and things that will eventually come in handy when I move out. It won't get to the point where I can't move around my room though. That is when I start giving stuff away.

Hoarders...they just need a little help and maybe a hard slap in the face by reality.

Much Love
Heather

New Hobby

I have started a new hobby. One that is pretty awesome and something I have always wanted to do. For Christmas my parents got me a set of throwing knives and a target board. I didn't start throwing until this week.

The only reason I started throwing is because I was so frustrated about my speeding ticket that I got. It's funny, I love my throwing knives. But I was so not good at it! My brother had to show me that you have to throw by the sharp end and not the handle. Everyone should know that right? HAHA!  Then my dad had to show me how to throw it properly...past the whole handle/blade thing.

But after the couple of hours that I have spend practicing I have gotten so much better! I'm not getting the bullseye yet but, every once in while I will. One day I will be one of those awesome chicks that can throw knives and hit it spot on. Yeah, lets think Underworld.

As you can see from the picture...the wall has taken a beating from the knives. I am getting better though! I will update you another day. I am going to be awesome at this soon.

Much Love
Heather

He's gay in my mind

I have been having one of those moments. You know, the one where I look back at all the guys I have ever fallen for. Now, I look back with a little tiny twinge of hate because, well, I always come out with a broken heart and never actually dated the guy! Yeah, I obviously fall hard and fast. All it takes is a cute smile, a glimmer in his eye (most likely caused by the sun in his eyes, not because he spotted me) and a little bit of attention and I am hooked. It is a horrible thing! 

I will admit to having a couple of online relationships. Once again, I came out broken hearted. One broken heart I caused myself, but we won't get into that. Online relationships are the only ones I have ever had. Maybe I am too self centered, which is why the online ones worked? Or maybe I am just too closed off to the world. Only a few people have been lucky enough to get close enough to understand me. 

So, this week I have been thinking about all my past love interest...and present ones. The present are not as plenty as the past. I noticed, I don't have a type, I don't prefer a certain type of guy to the other. The only thing that seems to stay the same, the ones I have liked and like today are the ones who made me laugh. 

Here is where this is going. Have you ever looked back to someone that you have really really liked and they shot you down and at that moment you make up this lie that they are gay? HA! I have done that to several guys that have shot me down. I will tell myself that the only reason they turned me down is because they are gay.

Think about it. Wouldn't you rather the person turn out gay than have turned you down for some flaw of yours they just can't get over? It feels so much better to think they are gay! What makes it even better is when they actually do something to validate your accusations. 

To be honest. I am tired of being shot down. I am sick of talking to a guy just for him to turn around and totally ignore me and pretend he never showed interest. I am tired of the lies guys tell ("Your too good for me." "I don't have time for a relationship right now." "I'm damaged goods, you don't want me."). I want guys to be straight forward. Tell me the REAL reason you don't want to give me a chance. I wish guys would fight to get to know me instead of letting me push them away. Although, there is a deeper issue as to why I push most guys away. Shh, it's a secret.

What happened to the guys that fight for what they want? What happened to the guys that want a real girl, not the ones that give it up the first date? What happened to the guys that sweep a girl off her feet? Where is the knight in shinning armor, ridding in on his white horse? 

I wonder sometimes if my standards are too high. Or if I am just too picky. Maybe my heart is just too unreachable for todays common guys. Maybe, the chains I have put on my heart are just too strong. 

But until I find a guy that likes me and falls for me as hard as I have fallen for him (assuming my heart breaks free from it's current residence and finds a new home), every guy that turns me down for what ever reason will be gay in my mind. 

Much Love

Heather

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Stupid cops!

It's going to be a short blog. I am just frustrated with myself and stupid cops. Yes, stupid cops! Wanna know the story? Keep reading.

I was headed home from work, I had just got onto mainstreet and was almost home. I was behind a few cars, keeping up with the traffic and not paying attention to much of anything. I was in a really really good mood. I had plans of stuff I wanted to do when I got home and I wasn't as tired as I have been lately. It was a good day. It was cold, which I loved, and the sun was shinning.

Then I notice this really fancy, very pretty, black car. Then...blue lights. Yep, one of those fancy cop cars. And guess who was being pulled over! Yeah...that would be me. I was at the BACK of the line. All those cars were in front of me. NONE were even behind me! And I GET PULLED OVER!

The cop comes to my car and ask me if I knew why I was being stopped. I said "I'm guessing I was speeding?" Yep...I was speeding. BUT if I was speeding that means EVERYONE ELSE WAS TOO! So why did I get pulled over? I guess that is what I get for being the slower speeder?

So, he writes my ticket and comes back to the car and says "Okay, here is what I did for you." Like he is doing me some kind of big favor AFTER he decided to pick on me and pull me over. "I put down that you were going 10 over the speed limit, so that will bring your ticket down to 81 dollars and only two points off of your license." Gee, thanks officer. "We are not here to take your money, but I need you to slow down for me." Really? Why do I have to do ANYTHING for you when you just pulled me out of the crowd?! So I say thank you and take my ticket and drive off.

Yes...there were tears after the cop left. I cried on the way home and balled my eyes out when I told my parents. Why? I JUST GOT A TICKET! And the second one in two months. UGH! I just paid for a ticket back in December. The cop had the same speech then too, that he was cutting me a break. Which, at that time I was actually grateful because...I was speeding, very much so, and I was on an empty road. So yeah, I totally deserved the ticket that day.But today, I so did not deserve that! I was minding my own business and staying with traffic.

Now, my eyes burn, I have an 81 dollar ticket to pay and now my license is 4 points down. UGH COPS!

Sorry for all the capitalized letters. I'm just angry!

Much Love (haha!)
Heather

Sometimes secrets come out

I had planned on blogging about the whole SOPA thing, but you should all know what that is by now. If not...google it.

Then I was going to blog about parents watching their kids better, but I will save that for another day.

Why?

Well, I found out a secret today that has me totally freaking out! It's one of those secrets that makes everything make sense.

I started my new job back in September. I was supposed to help pull data and put it into the system. I was pretty much hired to be an assistant. Yeah, I was a little ashamed when I realized that. I sat at my computer with nothing to do really, so I pretended to work. Then, suddenly I am learning new things. I am learning new programs and being introduced to a database creating program. I won't say the name because then you might figure out where I work and...I might get in trouble for that.

My coworker, the one that has been teaching me all this stuff has all of a sudden started teaching me everything he knows.

Now, something my dad has always drilled into my brain for...ever. You NEVER teach someone everything you know about a job. Most of the time, you teach yourself the job. And teaching someone everything you have learned on the job is giving that person a way to go beyond what you have taken a while to learn yourself.

At first, when my coworker started teaching me all this stuff I thought he was being nice. I thought he really wanted to help me go far in the company. I totally trust people and take things for face value way to much and way to easily.

Today, my coworker received a phone call today and of course I eavesdropped...a little bit. By the content that I heard I already assumed it was a job offer. When he got off the phone he told me that I should learn this program because I could get a really good job with it and that was what his call was about.

Now, he didn't say straight up that he had another job or that he was leaving so I could totally be jumping to conclusions. But, it all makes sense now. All the pieces are coming together and painting this awesomely great picture of what I am about to fall into. I followed the rabbit and I am about to fall into the rabbit hole!

What is about to happen is my coworker is going to try and cram my brain with everything he can before he leaves me to take on all this work. All of it on me...just me.

A few questions come to mind. Will they bring in another person to help me? Did they bring me in because they knew my coworker was getting ready to leave? Will they expect too much for me? And finally, why did I not see this coming?!

I am going to have to bust my tail to learn these programs before I am left alone to fend for myself. I have so much to learn and understand. OMG! This is going to be crazy. *Panic attack* AHHHH!!!

Wish me luck!

Much Love
Heather

Sweet Dreams

I wake up in the mornings wondering what I am going to blog about that night. I look for things as the day passes. I watch for things that annoy the crap out of me or things that make me happy. And when nothing happens during the day I just fall back onto my wacky awesomeness to write something great...or weird. What ever you prefer to call it. I am jotting down notes all day though! One of the reasons why I love my phone because when I have a thought I just pull out my phone and make a new note. Then people think I am really popular and getting text messages all day. If they only knew.

This morning I didn't have to think so hard. As soon as I woke up I knew what I was going to blog about today. There was no question about it because I woke up smiling like an idiot and a little confused. Yeah, that is usually what most of my dreams do to me. So let's talk about dreams!

Last night I had a dream that I was back in school. Nooo!! Of all places, why school? But this was no ordinary school. It was a school full of adults and we were training for a job or something. I honestly have no idea. I some how got the great privilege of assigning jobs and making sure people got paid.

The funny thing is though, the job, was cleaning up a landfill behind the school. Crazy right? What is even crazier is I was getting paid 500 bucks a day (A DAY!) to clean up. It wasn't even that bad. But once the professor/teacher/boss/someone who really was no one caught on to how much we got paid as opposed to the people that were doing it for free, we all had to stay inside. No recess for us!

There was one guy that I remember the most from the dream. A guy my age that I went to school with in real life. But I have not seen him since 7th grade so it was weird that he popped up into my dream. It was his fault that we didn't get paid that day because he tried to get more money for what we were doing. I should smack him if I ever see him again.

So what did all of the overpaid garbage people do on their day off? We sat in a classroom, cleaning out our desk and coloring. Just like I did in high school. Only, the best part of it all, I had glittery markers! Oh yeah, I was the awesome kid.

My dream made no sense. None at all. But it was fun and that is why I woke up smiling. It was just pure fun. No drama, no one was even mad at the guy that outed how much money we made. We just had time to chill. We had no worries. It was one of the best dreams ever!

I like dreams like that. I hate the drama filled ones. You know the ones. The ones where you meet a really cute guy and you fall instantly in love with him. Then all of a sudden you completely forget about the guy you have been crushing on for years and the guy that was stupid and shot you down. All you can think about is the gorgeous, blue eyed, long haired god sitting in front of you. And then...the alarm clock wakes you up just as the hottie was going to confess his love for you. After that you spend your whole day bummed because you had to wake up and leave Mr. Hottie all alone.

Don't worry, he will move on to the next lonely girls dream. *Sigh*


Much Love
Heather

It's an epidemic!!

This has been an ongoing epidemic that really caught my attention the week after Christmas. I didn't think much of it at first, but then today, it happened again. It's straight up rude and it makes you feel rude too!

I know, you are shouting, "Just spit it out already!"

Wanna know what it is?

People talking on the phone in the bathroom! 

It's so annoying and rude! Not only are you being rude to the people IN the bathroom but you are being rude to the person on the other side of the line.

Toilets flushing, people making grunting noises as they...drop their load (I'm really sorry, I just had to stick that in there.), people washing their hands. And then, there you are, talking on the phone. Now everyone in the bathroom for the proper reason feels rude because who ever is on the other side of the line can hear all the noise and you keep talking louder to talk over all the noise.

The bathroom is not for talking on the phone! If you are not supposed to be on the phone while at work, here is a thought, DON'T DO IT! Seriously. Let us pee (or what ever else you are doing in the bathroom) in peace! Take the phone call outside. Or text people telling them that you can't talk right now. Texting in the bathroom is totally okay, because no one knows that you are in the bathroom.

And you know, it really sucks being on the other end of the line when someone has their phone in the bathroom. You hear the echo on the bathroom walls and all the other disgusting noises that goes along with it. I don't know about you but I hate the sound of someone peeing and I hate even more hearing someone flush the toilet through the phone. It's just wrong.

So, people of America and all other countries of the world, stop making phone calls in the bathroom! Please!

Regret Nothing

I was going to post this yesterday but I didn't have time to sit down at the computer. So tonight, I take a moment and sit down to write this out.

There is a saying that says "Regret nothing because at one time it was exactly what you wanted." And it's true, but there are other reasons to never regret anything. So here is the short list that I have complied for you all and hopefully you can add to it.

1. "Regret nothing because at one time it was exactly what you wanted." Yeah, it was what has already been said but I wanted to touch on this for a moment. I make a lot of in the moment decisions. I spend money I shouldn't, I say things I should keep to myself and I eat things that I know I should have put away. But in that moment that I do these things, it is exactly what I wanted to do! Why feel regret for something you wanted so bad you couldn't pass it up. And next time, remember how you felt afterwards and don't do it next time. Which brings me to #2.

2. You learn from the things you regret. No matter what it was that you did. If I go into the store and spend too much money, I will know (well, should know) that next time I need to go in for what I came for and get only that. If I said something that hurt someones feelings I will know next time that this person is very sensitive and can't handle the truth. And if I eat something that I probably should have put away, I will remember next time and put it back where I got it...hopefully.

3. It's done and over with. It is in the past. You did it, now live with it. I guess my worst regrets come from spending too much money. Now, when I say I spend too much money I do not go broke. I just spend too much and can't save. Believe me, my bills are paid, though a few times I worried...but I also learned from that.  The point is, what you regret is now in the past. Move on. One thing that we all have to learn is to just move on. Things change, people change, life changes and regrets only hold us back and keep us from enjoying life.

4. What ever it is you regret is the same exact thing that made you the awesome person you are today. And that is the most important thing to focus on. You may look back at things in your life, shake your head, grow red in the face and say under your breath "I wish I hadn't done that" or "I wish I had done that" but the truth is, if you hadn't done or had done what you wish, you would not be who you are today. And who you are today is awesome, even if you don't feel like it at the moment.

At one time my biggest regret was not doing better in high school so I could get into a really good college. I regretted not taking my SATs. I regretted not losing weight to join the military.

Now, I am thankful for all those decisions. It made me who I am today. I am a college graduate with a really good job. Yeah, I have a ton of student loans and at one time I regretted that too, but without those student loans I would still be working in retail. I am an awesome person for the things I have done in my life, even the ones that I at one time regretted. I have learned so much from the things I once regretted.

I have learned to be nicer to people. To let more people get closer to me (though I still struggle with that one a bit). I have learned to manage my money a bit better and I am trying to live a healthier life.

So my advice to you...

Drop your regrets today and figure out how those things actually made you awesome.

Life is too short to regret what we have done. It's too short to dwell on the past. Just keep moving forward because the world is moving forward. If you keep looking back you are going to miss all the awesome stuff happening right in front of you.

Much Love,
Heather

The World Today

Sometimes I am grateful that I don't have kids yet. I love kids. I love their innocent minds and how they energy to spare. Kids are great! But they are doomed. Saddly, doomed.

Why?

Have you seen the world today? Have you been paying attention to the news? Have you seen the latest and greatest electronics?

People are sue happy. A lady is suing a dead teenager who died because he was hit by a train. The lady is suing his estate because one of his flying limbs broke her leg and arm, or something to that degree.

People have become blinded by "religion." I actually call it a cult. You know, the churches that protest the funerals of fallen Soldiers. Yeah, you are not a church! You are a cult! They hold signs saying that God hates gay people. The only God I know of is kind, loving, and forgiving. My God holds no hate for anything or anyone. And if you don't believe in God, that's okay, we have the freedom to believe what we want and I do not look down on you for your different views. But the churches that protest funerals and bash the LGBT community will tell you that you are horrible and going to hell. But, I guess it doesn't matter to you anyways since you don't believe. They still believe that they are hurting you by calling you out.

People have become obsessed with virtual reality. How many people on your facebook friends list do you actually know? Did you meet your boyfriend online? Are all of your friends online buddies you have never met? What happened to the good old fashioned way of doing things? Now, don't get me wrong, I have some really great friends that I met online and I would not trade them for anything. But my life does not revolve around the internet world.

People have become obsessed with games! My brother will sit in his room for hours on end playing games and talking to his game buddies. I think games are fun, great, entertaining, but they should not be your only source of entertainment. You have to get out and moving and hang out with people you can look in the eyes. People you can touch. People are are not just another screen name on your contacts list.

And finally, people are getting fat. I am guilty of this myself. I have my lazy moments and I eat unhealthy foods. But how can I not when the foods are so easily accessible. If I get hungry and only have a few bucks, I just pull up to any fast food joint and order off the dollar menu. I can't get a healthy meal off a few bucks. Which is sad and partly the governments fault. Partly my fault as well. For one, I should not be out and about with out a nice healthy snack tagging along with me. If you prepare stuff in advance you will have something healthy.

I know, I should take my own advice.

My point is, if this is the world today, what is the world going to be like tomorrow? Or next week? Or 10 years from now? What kind of world will I bring my children into when I do have kids?

Have you ever seen the movie Wall-E? I think that may be where the world is truly heading and it's a tad bit scary.

Much Love,
Heather

Oh, so busy

Yeah, I know, I missed another blog. But you know, its hard to keep up with everything I want to do. Which is why I need to sit down and write out a schedule to stick to no matter what. The only problem with that...days like yesterday.

I had to go with my mom to get tires for her vehicle. We went to walmart...I don't know about you but I just can not go into Walmart and NOT spend money. So...I bought a new tv and stand. I have been meaning to get one, I just couldn't afford it. So I put it on my credit card. I know, dumb move, but the tv is so pretty!

Aside from that, I am starting to realize how hard it is to work a full time job and have all this other stuff to do after work. While I am not getting paid for it yet, writing is my true career. But I have not been able to write or revise yet this year. I have a dead line coming up quick. To do things right I have to basically work two full time jobs. The one I get paid for and the one that is my true passion.

My plan is to eventually become known enough to make a full time living off of my books so I can spend more time writing. I would love to have a nice little office to write in too. It will all come in time right? I just have to work harder.

Which, that in itself is tough task. I am always so tired. I can sleep for 11 hours and still be drained all day. I do have a doctors appointment to get things checked out.

Another question that has come to rise though, should I join a gym? Do I have time to join a gym? The thing is, if I join the gym I want it would take me an hour to get there after work everyday. Then I would spend at least an hour there to make it worth my time. Then another 30 minutes to get back home. That is two and a half hours I am away from home and not able to work on my writing.

Maybe I should spend that two and a half hours at the library instead. That would make more sense. I do have a lot of work to do before I release my book.

Oh, joy. I bet you didn't know that you were jumping into the mind of Heather when you started reading this blog.

It looks like I have a lot of thinking to do. I need to figure out what is most important to me. And I need to lose weight at home...but the gym has more to offer than just a place to work out. *Sigh* so much to consider. I will save you all and end my mindless blogging rambling and let you get on with your day.

Much Love
Heather

Resisting Temptation

First, sorry for not posting the past two days. Things got crazy, I got tired, I didn't blog. Simple as that. I do realize that I should probably have a few back up blogs for such moments, I just have to actually stay home long enough to write more than one blog. And I have to have more ideas of what to write. I know that my life is not fun to read about. Though I am in the process of changing that.

Now, on to today's blog!

I lost one pound last week. ONE POUND! I am grateful for that one pound but also a little disappointed in myself. I could have done so much more to lose more weight. Though, the good news is, I only worked out twice last week and probably not even 30 minutes on those two days. So this could be a good thing.

Things I would like to work on this week:

• Work out more
• Drink more water
• Make better food options
• Not sleep so much

I will admit that temptation is just to easy to give in to. I fought all day not to eat a doughnut that mom brought home the other day. Tonight, after dinner, I ate that stupid doughnut. I also drank Dr. Pepper and a Pepsi. I didn't log my points for yesterday or today. Yeah, this week is not starting off so good but I WILL be back on track come morning. 

There is so much that I am trying to fix within myself this year. There are so many aspects of me that need to be worked on. I think too much about the things I don't have and thank to little about the things I do have. I need to change that. I need to realize that while I do have a butt ton of bills to pay, I do have a job that allows me to pay those bills and still have a little left over for myself. Even though I may not make it out to see my friend in Colorado this year I know that I will make it out to see her one day soon. And while I may not have a boyfriend I should remember that I don't have someone that wants to know my every move. 

My goal for this week, aside from my fitness goals, is to be more grateful for what I do have. To enjoy the blessings that are already in my life. And while I enjoy those blessings I will focus on what I can do to bring more of those blessings into my life. 

Much Love

~Heather

Too Much T.V.

Vampire Diaries, Secret Circle, Glee, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, Supernatural, Fringe....So much T.V! 

I get home from work around 4:30-5:00. My nightly shows start at 8pm most nights. And since I go to bed at 9 that means I get to watch on hour of television every week night. Though between 5 and 8 I am rushing around trying to get all my task done, though, half the time I sit in front of the computer and watch Youtube videos. This week I did get in a work out before 8, but it was like 30 minutes before 8. There is so much more that I should be doing in those three hours! I have a book I need to write, another I need to edit, blogs to write and more exercise. But I so suck at time management.

No, I take that back, I don't suck at time management. I suck at staying active. For some reason I stay tired all the time! So by time I get home from work I am completely drained...and I sit down at work all day! Of course, that could be the problem, that I sit down all day. I should probably get up and walk more when I get bored. 

I know, I got off topic. Since I only watch an hour of my shows a night I record all the other shows. So when the weekend rolls around I have at LEAST 5 hours of shows to watch. And that is only if there was only two shows on one night. Yeah, some nights there are four shows on, two at a time. It sucks being responsible and making sure I am in bed at the same time every night. Blah.

So I wonder, does my life revolve around the shows I watch at night. Though, it may revolve around the current book I am reading. 

That is all I have for tonight. My fingers are cold and so are my toes. And it is now 15 til 9. Almost bed time. So I say farewell for now.

Much Love

~Heather

ZUMBA!!

Oh yeah, I have always loved Zumba. LOVE IT! But I have not worked out in a while and it has been even longer since I have done Zumba. I love to dance, always have loved to dance and when I first saw Zumba on T.V. I knew I had to have it. So, I bought the dvds...okay, my mom bought the dvds. And I danced the night away, every night.

I did have my doubts because it was a video shown on T.V. Those things are always crap. But honestly, it was the best work out dvd ever.

Until I got bored with it.

Since I decided I was going to work out every day for the rest of my life I was going to pull out the dvds again and start dancing this weight off instead of getting on the treadmill or doing a ton of other dvds. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Once you have done the same thing so many times you just can't bring yourself to do it again.

I have thought about buying the Zumba for the Wii but I figured it would be just like the dvd and get boring after a while. Then a family member started talking about Zumba for the Wii that she got for Christmas. Me being the impulse buyer I am, went out and bought the game.

Can you hear the angels of fitness singing?

Tonight I did it for the first time and OMG! I was sweating after 30 minutes and didn't want to stop, but I had to do my blog because I wait until the last minute to do everything. Woot for working out!

On top of that, I actually stayed within my point range. I joined Weight Watchers about two weeks ago and just now starting to keep good track of my food.

All in all, in the fitness world, today was a good day.

Much Love,
~Heather

P.S. Did you work out today?

Fighting the Cold

Daddy built a fire in the fire pit tonight. Mainly because he decided to cook steak on the grill. Can you say crazy? It is so freaking cold outside, but I am not complaining about the cold outside. I am complaining about the cold inside! At work the office was cold, at home the house is cold. It's cold every where it should be warm!

Warm Fire!!

The office today was horribly cold. I had to wear a jacket all day, as well as my fingerless gloves. I know that isn't saying much for me because I always need a jacket and my gloves, but even my coworker was complaining about how cold it was. Now that IS saying something because the guys at work never get cold.

When I got home today I had every intention of working out but I was so cold all I could do was curl up under the covers and watch T.V. I know, if I was to move around more I would have warmed up, but I didn't. So sue me! On the plus side, I did, almost, stay with in my point limit with the weight watchers diet today. I went a little over. Luckily I still have my weekly points to fall back on. Though, I should probably save those for Fridays when I eat out. Blarg. 

I have been reading the Bible every night. I bought that book to read the bible in one year. And wow! I didn't know so much and it's awesome to answer all these questions myself. Did you know that Adam and Eve had three sons? Of course, according to other people there were more children, but I only knew of Cain and Abel. Craziness.

That is all I have for today. Short post as always. I should learn to think my blogs ahead instead of just waiting for something to come to me and then filling the page with random thoughts. *sigh*

Much Love

~Heather

P.S. What are you doing to fight the cold?

PILLOWS!

Something amazing happened today! I mean, squeal like a little girl meeting Justin Beiber, amazing! Oh yes, that great. Here is the story:

I went into walmart with my mom to get some cloth for a purse she is making. First I stopped and got vitamins. I love my vitamins, especially the gummy ones!

I am addicted to gummy vitamins. Of course my Fish Oil vitamins are not gummy because I can imagine that would just be...nasty.

So after I loaded the buggy up with vitamins me and mom were walking towards the back of the store when all of a sudden I spotted the most epic wall.

THE WALL OF PILLOWS!!

Now, I know most people would not get so excited over pillows, but my old pillows are, well, old. They are flat and I can never get comfortable. Back in September I bought a pillow top mattress thinking that would give me a little more comfort for sleep. Then today, I decided I needed more padding under my head so I bought four new pillows. They are so fluffy!

Yeah, look at those fluffy pillows! And the book that I will be starting tonight.

And maybe, just maybe, that was not the only awesome things that happened today. I also decided on a date to release my first book. March 21st, 2012. Oh yeah! Becoming will be released as an e-book that day. And then I will work on getting hard copies of the book. I am so excited. I knew this year was going to be awesome and it has proven, so far, to be just that. AWESOME!

I do have a few things to work on before the book is released. I have to read through it 50 million more times and make sure all the details add up. I have to find someone to do a cover art for me, hopefully for free right now. And I have to get the second book on its way. Then from there I will release one book a year, on the same day, hopefully for the next 50 years or so. I can't wait to get this up and running. I am so freaking excited! I do hope that everyone enjoys taking this journey with me.

Much Love
~Heather

P.S. What vitamins do you take? Do you like the gummy kind? And how many pillows do you sleep with?

What are you going to finish in 2012

http://www.jonacuff.com/blog/what-are-you-going-to-finish-in-2012/
So I found this blog post through a blog that I read on a regular basis. I am so glad I did. These are not new years resolutions. It is what I am gong to finish in 2012, I am setting myself up to finish this and I know people are going to be watching me succeed. Yes, succeed because there as no such thing as failing. So here is my list of things I will finish in 2012:

1. Reach my goal weight of 160
2. Publish my first book.
3. Finish writing the second book.
4. Become a health nut.
5. Read the whole bible.
6. Blog everyday, no matter what the content.
7. Go to church more
8. Go to the gym at least twice a week.
9. Write something everyday!
10. Be excited to just have another day to do something new.

I'm sure there is more I should add but this will just have to do for now.

I can feel it in my bones that 2012 is going to be a fantastic year. Screw the people saying that the world is going to end, this is the year that people start learning to live.

LIVE IT UP! Life is short and we can't put off our dreams for tomorrow because tomorrow is never promised.

Much Love
~Heather

P.S. What are your plans for the New Year?