Love the Good Dreams

As most of my friends know, I have been going to church for about five months now.  I love it so much, it is what keeps me going through the week, knowing that it's almost a church day.  I started off just going on Sundays.  Then I started going on Wednesdays and if I can make things work I will be spending time with church peeps on Saturday too.  They have an awesome program called Operation Go and I so badly want to get into it.  But I have to pace myself.  I am already signed up to be a greeter and to help with the children's ministry.  I want to bury myself in the church because I love it so much.

Last night, service was no different than usual.  The music got everyone pumped and we were ready to recieve the word.  And as usual, I left with a lot on my mind, a lot of things that I need to change.  But that is for tomorrow nights blog.  Tonight I tell you about the awesome dream I had!

In my dream me and my mom were still in church.  Everyone was still pumped and excited and filled to the brim with the holy spirit.  My mom and I decided that we wanted to sit a little closer so we moved up, like two rows in front of the preacher.  He saw us move and smiled, as if welcoming...like he was telling us that we had made the right choice.  Then he passes around this oil.  It wasn't normal oil though, but I'm not sure how to really explain it.  We were instructed to pour some into our bibles at a certain scripture and then rub some into our hands.  Then, I woke up.

Of course I lay in bed for a little bit trying to figure out what the dream meant.  I couldn't figure it out.  All I could decide at that moment was that God was telling me that I had found a home church.  I kind of already knew that but it was nice to get a confirmation.  My confirmation was the preacher in my dream smiling and welcoming us.  So, I crawled out of bed with this dream fresh in my mind and got ready for work.

I have this awesome app on my phone that sends verses from the bible.  I usually just wipe them away and don't read them.  This morning I felt like I needed to read them.  So I started reading all of them and came across the one that told me what my dream was about.

The verse was Psalm 45: 6-8 but it was the middle verse that got me.

Psalm 45:7
 You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.  Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions

I don't think I will ever forget this verse now.  I feel as though God was telling me that he is pouring joy into my life.  And I can feel it!  I have been in such an amazing mood today and I can not stop thanking God for all the wonderful things he has brought into my life.

So that is my dream and my take on the dream.  I feel restored, renewed, awakened, and ready to take on the world.  I am trying to step over that line that keeps me back from putting my everything into God's hands.  And tomorrow I will tell you about all the things I am letting go of to reach the next level in my faith.

Much Love
Heather

Does it Mean Anything?

Do you think that dreams are trying to tell you something? Like, what ever you dream, do you think there is a meaning behind it?

I do.

The problem is though, I can never figure out what they mean. It's not every dream though. Just certain ones. Ones that seem to stand out, they have a feeling behind it, like I need to pay attention.

Usually when I have dreams like this I spend all day and sometimes a whole week trying to figure it out. I try to remember as many details as I can. It's hard to figure them out.

I had a dream the other night and my Preacher was in it. At first we were walking together and then he pushed me. It wasn't a gentle push either. He shoved me pretty hard. I kept walking with him and distanced myself from him going down some steps. He then asked me if I trusted him.

HA! Of course not, he had just pushed me. That is when he grabs my arm and pulls me down the steps and to a slide. I keeps telling me to trust him. So, I give in and I trust him. I go down the slide but the end of the slide is rough and I stop. Again my Preacher tells me to trust him and to keep going. I do what anyone would do...I kept going. I slide the rest of the way down the rough part of the slide and landed on top of a brand new silver mustang. Oh, it was nice! My Preacher is standing at the top of the slide looking down on me telling me I just won the car.

Evidently, the first person to touch the car won it. Free and clear. Once this registers I jump off to check it out. People start piling in the car ask to take a ride in it. I know the people that are getting in. The guy in the front seat is a guy I used to have a crush on, though, no longer.

I start to check out the car and it starts to deteriorate. The paint starts chipping and the windows start turning black, like a car that has been sitting in the same spot for years. I hop in the car and the interior is looking old too. I then notice that the car is a stick shift. I have never learned to drive a stick shift so this was a problem. But I quickly dismiss it cause I remember I still have my old car so I can learn to drive a stick shift without the fear of messing up the car. Of course, there is another problem. I finally look up to look out of the front window and I can't see over the hood! This car is simply impossible to drive! Everything is against me.

Of course my first thought is, maybe I can sell it!

And then I wake up.

Then I try to figure out what the dream meant because it meant something. But what?

Was it my doubt and resistance that caused the car to rot away so quickly? Or was it trusting my preacher? Though, I feel like I can trust him. I just can't figure out this dream.

Though, here is what I am thinking. I think that my preacher has guided me to a path of truth. A path that I have been long avoiding. The journey right now is smooth, like the slide, but eventually it will become rough. Maybe the preacher represents God and how if I trust him things will work out. I just have to push forward and trust that God will take me where I need to be.

Maybe this is my sign that the rough part is coming and I need to get ready.

Oh! Maybe talking to church boy is the rough part. I just have to trust that God is with me and I can do anything.

What do you think?

Much Love,
Heather

What a Day

So today has been some what amazing. The morning didn't start so amazing though.

I had trouble eating breakfast. I go through this every once in a while. I just can't fathom the idea of eating breakfast. I force it down anyways though cause I know I need it to go on with my day. Well, after I forced down my breakfast I noticed my cat had gotten sick and left me a gift in the hallway. I cleaned up it, of course. Then the gagging started. Now, I usually have a pretty strong stomach, but when I have trouble eating it just...sucks. Luckily I did keep down the breakfast I forced down.

Then I got to work, still a little sick and so not ready to do anything. I just wanted to go back to bed. Got to my desk and started working on the same thing I have been working on all week...actually for the past few weeks. Boring!

When I get bored I day dream. I started thinking about the cute boy at church and how I REALLY need to talk to him. Though, anyone that knows me also knows that I am rather shy. Well, shy when it comes to new people, especially when it's a guy I'm currently crushing on. That means, for me to actually talk to this guy, I really have to work up some nerves of steel...or something. Of course, day dreaming about talking to him made me smile like a goofball. If you saw this guys smile you would totally understand!

Then came my lonely lunch. I ate alone and wrote in my journal. Mainly just personal thoughts about how I really really want to talk to church boy. Yeah, it has gotten that bad.

And then the awesome thing happened. I had a meeting with one of my bosses. I have three! I work for a company within a company. I have one boss from the company I work for and two bosses from the company I work within. I work half time for both of the bosses for the company I work within. Follow?

Anyways, my boss tells me that I am doing a great job! He is trying to get me a company laptop. WOOT! And I won't be sitting at the same desk all day long! I will work half the day upstairs at the desk I'm at now. Then the other half I will work downstairs with the guys that I started working around in the first place. It's awesome, trust me!

I came home after work, my phone left in my purse (which is why I missed a phone call from a friend. Sorry Crystal!) and started working on my book. I have to get it formatted properly for uploading Saturday. The day is almost here! I am super nervous about this weekend! I am publishing my book and possibly talking to church boy, whom I am quite certain I will eventually marry one day.

Big dreamer over here!

Much Love,
Heather

Wacky Wednesday: The Eyes

So this morning I woke up paranoid as crap! I thought there was going to be someone standing around every corner, waiting to snap me up and kill me or something. I finally got ready and out to my car and checked my back seats. I just knew there was someone sitting in the back seat waiting to press a blade to my throat. But, just like in the house, there was no one.

I get in my car and start it up. The window is misty with dew from the night and I suddenly realize there is someone standing in the woods! They are standing there, just waiting for me to turn on my headlights. When I turn on the headlights it is going to be some mad crazy looking witch and she is going to come floating to my car, through the window and eat my soul!

I turn on the headlights and then the windshield wipers. I close my eyes and wait.

Nothing happens. I open my eyes fearing that the ugly witch is going to be looking into the car at me. But, alas, there is nothing. Just my paranoia again. I put the car in gear, back out of the drive way and on to work I go.

I look on the side of the road, waiting for some strange man with an axe or the crazy old witch to come flying out of the woods and into my car. But I make it to work just as safely as ever.

At work I feel like everyone is watching me. Which they probably are, to make sure I don't have any fun and work the whole time. I keep looking behind me to make sure no one is standing watching me. I wait for the witch to come out of no where. But still nothing.

I make it through the work day and make it home safely. My paranoia had gone away once I got home. I got ready for church and all was well. I went to a book store before church and everything was fine, awesome in fact. The book store was like walking into heaven. Old books just waiting for me to buy them. They were all screaming "Pick me, Pick me!" But I couldn't pick them all. I promised them all I would be back for more, that seemed to keep them quiet until I left. I wonder how many books I made cry today...

Church! Yay! No need for paranoia here. Everyone is friendly but the bookstore inside the church gets way to crowded and I start to panic. Me and mom leave the bookstore and go find a seat and wait for service to start. Of course I keep my eyes out for the cute guy I always stare at. I can't help it, he has a really nice smile. I spot him of course and all is right with the world.

As every one starts pilling in I start feeling something, like someone is watching me. I can't help but to look up at the ceiling to see if something is there, but there is nothing but lights. But I still feel the eyes on me. Something is watching me. I look for the old witch. I knew she had to be there some where. Looking out from a dark corner, waiting for the perfect time to attack. I see her no where. Then, I find them. THE EYES! The ones that I have felt on me for a few minutes. The eyes that have sent me into a paranoid panic trying to find who they belong to. But as soon as I spot them and stare straight at them, I suddenly no longer care that they watch me.

Why?

Because it is the cute boy whose smile I look for every Sunday and Wednesday. Yes, cute church boy is looking my way! My smile grows as he looks away and I want to jump and scream and shout, but I just can't bring that kind of attention to myself. He would think I was crazy! Though, I am...I don't want him to know that until AFTER he falls in love with me.

And then I saw HER! The old witch that I have been looking for all day! I knew she had been following me. I knew it! When I finally spot her she smiles at me...a real, kind smile, and walks out of the church.

What?? Was that her plan all day? To make me paranoid so that I would see the guy with the cute smile staring at me? Was it her plan to show me that I may not be the only on interested? Oh, old witch, I thought you were evil...Now, you are just confusing.

Much Love
Heather

Sunday Service #1

So, I have decided to start something new on here. I go to church every Sunday and I felt like maybe I need to share what I learn from the service.

Since I started going to church again a lot of things have come to make sense. I'm not as stressed and I don't get as angry as I used to. I am happier now then I have been in a long time. My goals in life have become a heck of a lot clearer too.

Now, I want to share the changes in my life. I want the internet to have a front row ticket to the things God has given me in my life. I want to share the learning that I get in church.

If you don't believe in God, that is okay, I am not forcing you to read my Sunday post. If you disagree with things that I say, feel free to tell me so, I don't mind. Do not come here and tell me that God is not real because I know that He is real. If you don't believe, I don't have any proof that can change your mind and I won't try to change it. I ask that you respect me and my blog by not forcing your own beliefs on me. I am open to hear what you have to say, in a friendly discussion.

As for today, what Apostle said opened my mind to a few things. What I learned today is that, while I pray, I can not sit back and let God do all the work for me. God will give me the strength and the tools to do what I need to do. It is up to me to use those tools and strength in the right way to get me where I want to go.

So much more was said today. It was an overwhelming service and I can not wait till Wednesday for another service. Since I just decided to do this blog like...5 minutes ago I didn't write notes or anything to add to my blog. I can't remember what scriptures were read from, but next week I will be more prepared.

As I said previously, if you don't want to read it, skip my Sunday post. If you have some hateful comment towards what I have posted, keep it to yourself. This is something that I have found I enjoy and I hope that while I pay more attention to service I will learn more.

I hope that many can learn more from me and find a new peace as I find my own.

Much Love and God bless
Heather

A Change is Coming

It's amazing how one day you can wake up and realize there is so much in your life that you need to change. I wish it happened like it does in the movies, where a montages starts with awesome music. Then before you know it everything is changed and you move on with your new life.

It has been a few weeks since I woke up and realized things need to change. This morning though, I woke up and realized there are a few things that I am hanging on to that I really need to let go. Things that are holding be back from my dreams. I won't say what these things are because somethings really are meant to be kept to yourself.

I will say, there has been a wish in my heart that has been there for a while. I wish so strong that some days it is all I think about. Today when I woke up something clicked. I realized that this wish was holding me back. I have been debating about it all day. Church this morning didn't help much either. Apostle was telling us to never stop praying. He said that the one prayer you decide not to pray could be the one that God was going to bless you.

My heart has been on hold for so long. Waiting for this wish to come true. Praying that it was in God's plans for me. And as I type this, my once clear mind is no longer clear. What if it is in God's plans for me, I just have to be patient for it.

Yikes.

That is only one part of things I need to change though. I think with much prayer and thought I can figure it out.

I am going to end this blog before I make myself any more confused. Sometimes a wish is just a wish, something you don't really need. It could be dangerous to pray for a wish. You may get what you didn't want.

I must go now, to think.

Much Love,
Heather